Smoky Eyes' Kingdom

Shocked

2011-12-31T18:54:00.003+08:00

I accidentally saw something I did not intend to find out. Blame it on my curiosity - the researcher in me never stops working. Well, maybe it is God, He wants me to know & see it with my own eye?

Years have gone past but the healed wound still hurts whenever it's touched. Yeah. Weak. Me. :(

I live a good life & I am surrounded by awesome people in my life, shouldn't I just focus on this and not drag myself back to the darkness in the past? Over the years, I thought I have finally mastered the "mind over matter" skill, but still...

Lord, move in me, so that I can move away from the situation.

My Travel Map by TripAdvisor

2011-12-30T14:20:00.002+08:00

Sparkle in my eyes

2011-12-28T00:46:00.004+08:00

This is a happy picture of me.

Not the latest, not the prettiest, but in this one, I see sparkle in my eyes (reflection of the ceiling lights actually). Me likey. :D

天与地

2011-12-13T01:26:00.002+08:00

你是一道我猜不透的谜题

隐隐约约藏在那幽暗的灯笼里

你是那水中月亮的倒影
出没在视线里却是触摸不及的有影无形

你是风里传来的一阵清雅花香味
占据了我的鼻息却探不到我的味蕾

你是花开花落的瞬间
是我赶不及的匆匆一霎擦肩

你是轻盈缥缈的一缕青烟
徐徐升空了无踪影不留恋尘世间

你是远远的那条海岸线
在我搁浅小舟的眼前不断的演变

你是蓝天里慵懒的浮云只管嬉戏
我是地上自由奔流田野间的小溪川流不息
同样是水却永生不相见相念相惜

容我旁观轻描淡写地记下这段岁月；也容我静静的祈祷；愿空气中紧紧相扣的因子慢慢填满那天与地的距离。

Fragility | Uncertainty

2011-12-04T02:52:00.005+08:00

We feel fragile because there is an atmosphere of uncertainty. We feel fearful when things fall out of our control, that is, when uncertainty threatens to bring about negative possibilities.

How defenseless we are in the face of flattery! Milan Kundera is right. We find it hard to resist compliments, especially when they are coming from someone who is pleasant and attractive, although we know everything that this person says might not be true and sincere.

Tonight I feel fragile. As much as I enjoy the attention and kind words, I am once again challenged by my own instinct and my conscience tells me to not make a decision right away. There's a voice inside my head that says: "If something seems too good to be true, it probably is." I keep telling myself that I will wait and observe, but I find it hard not to think of the possibility of it happening for real. I think my heart desires it while my mind tries to navigate me away from being too emotionally attached. The same voice has spoken: "God has the best plan for you. Surrender it to Him." Yes, I think I should.

In the face of uncertainty, there is nothing wrong with hope - Bernie S. Siegel.

My hope is in the Lord.

因为我在乎

2011-10-16T22:47:00.004+08:00

也不知道为何会在乎一些别人根本不在乎的。

就是因为在乎，所以会在得不到回应时生气和失望。都说了没有希望就不会失望，怎么到了我这把年纪还不懂这道理吗？

是的，每个人心中的衡量标准不同，我列为“重要”的，对你也许就是“小事一桩”。你我也就是坚持站在自己的角度看这件事，所以我们永远不会有共识。也因为我们认为有什么问题，一定都不是我的问题，肯定是对方的问题；所以你会觉得我怎么那么不可理喻，我又觉得你怎么都没有尝试去明白。

其实我也不必为此事懊恼，反正有没有你，我也一样过活，而你也不会因为我的失望而吃不下饭。所以我又何必在乎你在不在乎呢？

这种生活小插曲其实一直不断的发生，只是有没有人会在乎把它写下来而已。

Obsession

2011-09-18T22:57:00.004+08:00

Obsession with micro-expression, body language, human behavior.

A paranoid that can read between the lines, smell a lie, sense insincerity.

A spy that is navigating the human minds but is trapped in his own.

What are you waiting for?

2011-08-20T04:40:00.003+08:00

"What are you waiting for?"

"Perhaps it is this je ne sais quoi."

...when it is here, I will let you know. :)

生命中无法承受的重量

2011-08-13T23:46:00.006+08:00

那夜我们聊到哭了。是因为生命中无法承受的重量。是因为无法相信潜伏在每个人心里暗角处不同程度的情绪病。

她哭了，因为上帝带来了希望，却在没有任何预兆下夺走一切。
那是种撕裂心肺的痛。
那个长久以来被压抑着，叫做强迫症的恶魔出来肆虐了。
那是种超越想象的折磨。

她哭了，因为看着心爱的人受苦却帮不上忙。
那是种哀怨自责的心痛。
那种忧心与惶恐占据了生活的绝大部分，分分秒秒的战战兢兢和被拒门外的无声等待，谁能明了？
那片刻的精神煎熬非笔墨能形容。

她哭了，因为有种缥缈但却也真真切切令人恐惧的无助感在断断续续侵蚀本已空洞的心灵。
那是种渴望找寻心灵依靠却恐惧过分依赖的两极心理轰炸。
那每个自我封闭于房间车子里的夜晚，只有孤立和无助感弥漫在空气里。
那种用自己双手擦干眼泪，然后自我催眠告诉自己一切会安好的感觉，是挺可悲的。

原来大家并没有过得如想象的好。

可是说到这里，我们却笑了。

笑，因为明白到人生中的重与轻就象空气和水，环绕着我们，而我们也都需要它们来维持生命。

笑，因为生命中的苦让我们更加懂得珍惜拥有的。

她是幸福的，因为在人生多处最低潮之时，很多人都放弃了，就只有最爱她的留在她身边不离不弃。

她是幸福的，因为上天让她有颗坚强但柔软、温和却坚韧的内心，她是一盏明灯，为她最爱的人在黑夜里照明。

她是幸福的，因为能将孤独转变为力量是门学问，也只有那些生命有历炼的才修得了。

那夜我们都笑了。

I thank God for you

2011-08-03T12:49:00.004+08:00

"I thank God for you, my friend.

We may get too busy.

We may make each other crazy.

We may disappoint one another or question the other's jugement at times.

But still. We find our way back to each other like real friends do.

To the blessing of knowing and being known.

Of accepting.

Of facing life and all its messiness, shoulder to shoulder.

I thank God for you, my friend...

A true friend.

A friend who takes me as I am.

A friend who is such a blessing to me.

A friend I'll love forever." - Suzanne Bery

I copied this from a card given to me by a special friend. I thank God for her. She is one of the few people who saw me through my darkest days and always extends a helping hand.

I thank God for all the good people around me. I am grateful that our paths have crossed. People who choose to be kind to me when they have a choice not to. I am grateful for the love they have showered upon me and I hope they know that I love them very much too.

2011-07-14T02:03:00.004+08:00

You can call me stubborn, but I know what I want and I will go for it. I will not settle for less. That's me.

2011-07-11T03:07:00.001+08:00

Bersih!

2011-07-09T13:24:00.014+08:00

9 July 2011. Another historical day in the Malaysian history (but I doubt it will ever be mentioned in the history books). Today is the day that we hope people’s voice be heard and that justice and fairness, above all, shall prevail.

I am utterly disappointed with what the government is doing to deter people’s voice and will to exercise our human rights. The police road blocks and closures since Thursday night, 6 July 2011 had caused massive traffic jams everywhere around town. First of all, this is not green to the environment (the carbon monoxide gas from the vehicles further pollutes the already polluted air), and secondly, it is such a waste of resources. Police can be deployed to do a better cause. Imagine if Malaysia police force join hands and do a "gotong-royong" and go clean up the streets, the outcome will be greater - a clean city and country.

Someone said regardless what the outcome of today’s rally , we, citizen of Malaysia, please make the efforts of those who are risking their lives count by getting ourselves registered & vote. Vote right, vote smart.

If you are a Malaysian who loves Malaysia and you have not registered to be a voter, do it! To exercise your right as a citizen, click here for more info.

If you are only a passerby and would like to know more about what Bersih 2.0 rally is, click here to read more.

Vox populi! May people’s voice be heard.

Goodbye. Farewell.

2011-07-07T01:16:00.005+08:00

Great. All photos, blogs, including "friendships" had been deleted, removed totally. Oh, I meant from Friendster.

Before Facebook took the center stage of social media, everyone had a Friendster account, I too. Part of my life used to be accessible through Friendster. Now Friendster is gone forever, so is that particular part of my memories.

The last time I browsed my Friendster page was just slightly more than a week ago, and I did it because someone had mentioned it. I didn't expect Friendster to shut down completely so soon. Well, it's meant to be, I guess.

Adieu... Farewell...

H.a.p.p.i.n.e.s.s

2011-07-04T22:29:00.006+08:00

Congratulations!

To you, you and you, who have shared your good news with me. Thank you for spreading happiness across. Today, I am bombarded with too many good news, all in one day, a little overwhelmed, but in a good way. :)

Hold fast to the happiness that has been put into your hands. May you be showered with abundant blessings, love, peace and joy. This is my simple but sincere prayer for you. :)

4 Questions

2011-06-06T03:24:00.009+08:00

Probably the most difficult questions that anyone may come across.

1. What are you running after?
2. What do you worry about?
3. What do you spend your time on?
4. What do you treasure most?

The answers reveal how much you love the world, the empty materialistic world in this context.

Likely, 1 or more of the answers to the above questions are relating to career, money, personal achievement/ recognition etc. We are anything but ordinary. We are always in search for that something we can't explain, to fill the void in our soul. But later you will realise that the chase never ends.

What would your answers be? Think.

I am nobody; nobody is me

2011-05-28T00:49:00.004+08:00

Maybe you are right.

I am a rose, with thorns. I am the colour violet, that evolves from blue. I taste like chocolate, bitter sweet.

Who am I? I am nobody; nobody is me.

You're blessed

2011-05-14T02:18:00.013+08:00

Today, a friend forwarded some very encouraging messages and they have deeply touched me. They reminded me to be grateful for everything that has been given to me.

I am blessed and so are you. :)

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

**************

Excerpts from Matthew 5. This post is not intended to bring up any matters of religion, it's just a note to reiterate the importance of being thankful and content - you will taste the sweetness of life and the overflow of enjoyment.

I ponder...

2011-04-17T04:14:00.008+08:00

"Dear God, why did You let it happen to me if You knew it was not for me in the first place?" a little girl asked God.

Don't we ask the same question every now and then?

I imagined how would God respond to this little girl's query. Perhaps God wouldn't answer but He'd just smile - the smile that tells us He knows exactly what He's doing in our lives and we would figure out all the whys some time later, eventually.

**********************************************

"Lucky me, I lose those that do not matter."

Lucky you, the one who said this. :)

We lose things everyday, some precious, some not. More often than not we only figure the things we lose are meaningful to us only after we lose them. Ironic isn't it? We never cherish them when they're there but mourn the loss when they're gone.

I would say: "Blessed me, those that are here is all that matters."

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Incept the Source Code

2011-04-14T00:00:00.009+08:00

I've just watched Source Code with a bunch of friends. Incidentally, some plots in the movie resemble those of Inception. I have a special love for movies of this genre. Well, okay, I must say that although I find Source Code gripping and engaging, Inception still remains my favourite.

Why do these movies fascinate me so much? Okay, don't tell me that the science in these movies is preposterous. I surely know that I should take this with a pinch of salt, but then, who cares, the movies are to merely offer an imaginary escape. Yes, perhaps they offer me fake hopes, that there's a chance (regardless of how slight) to get away from the reality? Perhaps the instantaneous (but) temporary relief, to knoe that this life I'm living right now is only one of the many dimensions of life (or one of the many layers of dream), and I can "switch" to another dimension when I like? More importantly, I felt hopeful after watching the movies and I wanted to believe that positivity is what tomorrow, the future would hold, as long as I am willing to "create" it - of course, only in my mind. :)

No no, I am not interested to use the Source Code to change the past. I have no intention to go back in time so that I could change anything undesirable in the past. I believe in fate and destiny. I believe what happened in the past was meant to happen, so let it be. However, these movies open me up to new perspectives. And, what mesmerizes me most is the movies "make" me believe that there is possibility (is there?) to create a whole new "world" - another dimension, an ideal world of my own imagination.

I would imagine that there are a few "me" living in different dimensions at the same time. We never cross each other's life, but each dimension seems like the ideal life for that particular "me" who lives in there. So what happens to the real me in my real life a.k.a the person who is now writing this post? Sigh... unfortunately, the real me can't escape the harsh reality - one that's out of my control, never ideal and at times, full of suffering. But then, what is reality? It is only one of the many dimensions of life, isn't it?

If there is forever happiness in the limbo, I would not mind to be stuck there eternally, without a second thought.

Northern Lights

2011-04-05T01:22:00.006+08:00

Northern Lights. Aurora Borealis. Whatever you call it, it was and still is one of my dreams that has yet to come true.

I was once so near yet so far from making acquaintance with the Northern lights. I know, I once had too many plans made but too few realised. Lesson learnt - take one step at a time. Days passed me by and this dream slipped into the deepest corner of my heart. Only until days ago I learnt that there is this person who also shares the same passion for the Northern lights. Happy. The hype is back.

I have always dreamt of doing a solo adventure trip to the North Pole. Ideally, bits & pieces of the journey will be captured in a video travelogue, purely for my reminiscing pleasure later on. In the coldest winter night, I shall lie beneath the starry sky and let the Northern lights sweep above me. I shall witness the vibrant green dances before my very eyes. Sounds cool eh? :)

However, still it remains a (dream) plan at the moment - simply because there are many uncertainties right now and I am trying to sort things out. When it comes to making the intangible tangible, there's always a lot to do!

Picture taken from National Geographic Daily News: New Aurora Pictures

Seasons of Life

2011-03-19T19:39:00.004+08:00

by BJ Morbitzer

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest in the fall.

When they had all gone and returned, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe, drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each only seen one season in the tree’s life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season. That the essence of who they are, and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life, can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, and the fulfillment of your fall.

Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don’t judge life by one difficult season.

There's beauty in the breakdown

2011-03-13T03:49:00.006+08:00

"So let go, let go
Jump in
Oh well, whatcha waiting for?
It's alright
Cause there's beauty in the breakdown"

There is beauty in everything in life, even in a breakdown. Well, life itself is a metaphor.

"Leave your things behind
Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me, too busy
You're writing your tragedy"

Tonight, I present to you: Frou Frou - Let Go

One Sweet Day

2011-02-16T00:57:00.006+08:00

I did not pay attention to this 1995 hit song and the lyrics until today when we were singing it in karaoke. Such a meaningful and well-written song.

More often than not, we neglect our loved ones and only regret it when they're gone.

"Sorry, I've never told you, all I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away..."

But the life on this earth is temporary, one day, we'll meet each other in Heaven.

"...And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Picture a little scene from Heaven..."

Also picked this line up from the web, it was from the TV series 90210: "It doesn't matter what you say about someone once they're gone. What matters is how you treat them when they're still here." This says it all, doesn't it? Just how important it is to cherish people who love us, and whom we love while they're still around.

I miss grandma very much tonight. This is the 8th Chinese New Year without her. I'd like to believe that she's now watching over me from Heaven.

One sweet day, we will eventually meet in Heaven, it's just a matter of time. When this day comes, I want to stand before God and say that I have lived life well and loved generously, and I will make you proud, grandma.

L'arte di non fare niente

2011-02-13T22:48:00.005+08:00

The Italian phrase "l'arte di non fare niente" literary means "the art of doing nothing". L’arte di non fare niente does not imply something like bumping around or wandering in the house doing nothing at all - that's "a waste of time". L'arte di non fare niente is an art, if you do it right.

My l’arte di non fare niente moments generally happen randomly. Most of the time I am amused that I actually find these impromptu things I do amusing! Hahaha... Here are some of my favourite spontaneous acts:

1. People-watching at a cafe, imagine the house they live in, topics they talk about at home etc.
2. Watching and listening to the rain, sometimes feel the rain as it falls on me and touches my skin.
3. Recalling stupid things I did in the past when I was young and have a good laugh at myself (also remind myself to not do the same stupid things again).
4. Counting the cars that pass by.
5. Admiring God's great creation when I look into the sky and see the moon, the stars, the clouds, the sun and the rainbow.
6. (Used to) sipping hot chamomile tea with honey while snuggling under the duvet when weather was really cold.

Sometimes, you don't do everything for a reason or on purpose, you merely do it out of spontaneity. When you find joy in doing nothing, you live a life worth living, how lovely. :)

“别问我是谁，请你欣赏我的美。”

2011-02-08T02:02:00.005+08:00

昨天，她把衣服一件件脱去，换来今天的名利。
今天，她用努力与成就，把一件件脱去的衣服捡回来。

1998年，当舒淇凭《玻璃之城》获台湾金马奖最佳女配角奖时，她发表了掷地有声的获奖感言曾经轰动一时。当时舒淇说：“到现在为止，我正在把脱掉的衣服一件件地穿起来。”

谁没有过去呢？
“别问我是谁，请你欣赏我的美。”

"Without the past, there is no future."

Flying without wings moments

2011-02-05T01:11:00.006+08:00

Simple happiness...

It is to have what money can't buy.
It is to do what you want to do, freely (and not hurting anyone in the process).
It is to laugh and not bothered about the wrinkles around one's eyes.
It is to have the chance to breath (still).
It is to have the ability to give generously without expecting a return.
It is to effortlessly put a smile on the face of your loved ones.
It is to know that you are reading this post and it brings you a whole new perspective to what simple happiness is.

And the best thing about simple happiness is...the list is non-exhaustive. :)

今夜乱笔

2011-01-30T02:58:00.001+08:00

是咖啡因作祟，在神不知鬼不觉中渗入那故作安定的神经，肆意的挑畔那本已澎湃的血脉。奔腾，奔腾。

是那咖啡因唤醒了长久被压抑的脑里的坏细胞，今夜它们将像山林野火般不断蔓延，直至把所有的所有烧成灰烬后才会罢休。燃烧，燃烧。

也许是今夜不够汹涌的雨让沉寂多时却一直静静等候暗涌来袭的不安思绪找到一个倾巢而出的借口。今夜脑袋终于决定跨过理智的阻拦，尽情宣泄肆虐一番。是愤怒吧。是无力抗拒自己的无能为力吧。是自己扰乱的思绪不安份的在反抗吧。无能，无能。

生存为何？
为了用有限的时间把自己困在那四平方公尺的囚室里说服自己不断耕耘来换取攀上那永无止境的层层阶梯？
为了不断讨好那些应该和不应该去讨好的灵魂以便肯定自己的价值？
为了追求虚无飘渺却又令人神魂颠倒的虚荣、物质、地位和权势？
为了证实那渴望安定却又仍是居无定所的心灵最终会找到停泊的港湾？

心中感叹生不逢时啊。冷眼看世人的怨怼。古时有怀才不遇以至醉酒江中捞月而遇溺的李太白，当今有热情激昂却又得不到赞赏而郁郁寡欢的热血你我。耕耘收获永不对称的道理恒股流传。

就这么一天，心里那把微弱的声音挣脱了理智的枷锁，用力喊了这么一声：够了！
这可怕的现实来到面前泼了一把冷水，硬硬的逼自己去真真切切的面对。
如雷灌顶。不要懦弱，不要逞强，不要害怕，不要挣扎。
那首歌是这么唱的：“想得到释放只有投降。”投降吧。
眼前这扇门也许通往一座秘密花园，也许引领至一条康庄大道。没人可探知。

今夜在孤寂的真空世界，无言望着五花八门多姿多彩的世界大染缸。空洞。

是咖啡因作祟，扰乱了思绪。

有些事情你真的不必问

2011-01-23T02:56:00.007+08:00

你说：应该也过了些日子了吧，现在怎样了？我说：有些事情你真的不必问。

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总有人问你，有对象没？
呵呵，没有呢。不会吧，不可能吧。。。。。

其实，那是真的，不是没人追，没人要，
只是没有合适的；不是眼光高，要求多，只是没有感觉。

也许有时想恋爱，想让自己不再寂寞，可是那个人却没有，不想随随便便的爱了。
有时候当自己静下心来会觉得自己的执着很可笑，为什么不去恋爱？

为什么要让自己单身呢？
难道是爱上了孤独，爱上了寂寞吗？

在茫茫人海中只想找一个能让自己对上眼的人，
也许在别人眼里那很傻，
可是这样的傻只是想对得起自己的心；
让自己孤独让自己寂寞就是不可以让自己随便和人恋爱；

缘分没有多少，要的只是对的感觉；
不会轻易的去恋爱，不想去欺骗别人，也不想去骗自己，
每个人心里都有自己另一半的身影，就算是勉强找到另一半的你，
难道在你的心里除了他（她）就没有另一个心底的人吗？

两人的交往中绝对会为彼此设定底线，不会轻易越过；
尊重爱情，尊重感情，尊重彼此，不会随便开始，
但一旦开始，那么就会是最珍惜生活的人。因为他们相信爱。
当遇到一个喜欢自己但没有好感的人，
会礼貌而尊重的对方说“对不起，我们不适合”，
尊重自己的感情也是尊重别人的感情，
不会让对方浪费时间，
如果对方觉得朋友可以做，当然我很乐意。
但想要改变我的想法，不可能，因为他们不会轻易让自己妥协，除非你是那个他（她）。

让自己刻骨铭心的爱，是需要用心去等待，哪怕是用一生。

孤独，不一定不快乐；
得到，不一定能长久；
失去，不一定不再拥有。

文摘自某网络。Sorry,忘了确实的网址。

Perfectly lonely, perfectly okay

2010-11-15T01:36:00.008+08:00

Never really liked John Mayer, but I kinda think that this is a "not bad" song of his. The title may sound sad or pathetic, but it can be a pretty happy song, depending on how you look at it.

This song says it best :)

Morning drizzles

2010-08-28T05:44:00.007+08:00

Here I am, writing this blog post at such an odd hour of the day - 5.45am. No I didn't stay up all night, I woke up from my sleep a couple of hours ago. My "nature's soft nurse" isn't treating me that well tonight, I suppose.

I can hear prayer broadcast from the nearby mosque, it probably reminds our Muslim friends to start fasting for the day, I think. Well, they might have just finished their Sahur as I am staring on the computer screen, checking out updates on FB and writing this post.

It is drizzling outside. I like the rain, it cleanses the dusty roads and washes away all the impurities in the air. I haven't observed the twilight drizzle for a long while, as I don't usually get up at this hour really. Oh well, now I do have the chance to.

A moment later, I'll welcome the first daylight of the day. Buongiorno, mio mondo bello!

2010-08-24T19:36:00.004+08:00

Today, something I wanted very badly came knocking on my door. First thing came to my mind - He heard me! I was surprised how it has found its way to me... But it came at the wrong time. Sigh. Wrong timing. It's all about timing.

I have talked about timing so many times, with different people this week. And now, the timing issue strikes me. Oh boy.

I am scared. Scared to pray, to dream, to desire...because what I pray for, dream of, desire, might eventually come, but then, at the wrong time, again.

Distance to Heaven

2010-07-05T23:24:00.005+08:00

Date: 5 July 2010
Time: 23:20

Ticket no.: 15112008.
Destination: Hell.
Status: Thrown. Destroyed.

Distance to Heaven: Unknown, but on the way.

"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again" - Psalm 71:20-21

Walking down memory lane

2010-04-04T22:51:00.005+08:00

Blessed Easter! Today, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, and we're reminded that because He died, we live... Perhaps today also signifies rebirth?

I am walking down the memory lane, alone, again. I miss my travel buddy - a puppy soft toy called Rich, a musical Kung Fu Hamster that dances with the song "Kung Fu Fighter", 2 Japanese wooden dolls...they used to sleep right next to me.

They belong to the past. Now, they have been cremated, and the ashes...perhaps..have gone with the wind.

I can smell it

2010-03-04T00:21:00.003+08:00

Date: 3 Mar 2010

I can smell it... It's coming back, the scary feeling keeps coming back... Lately I've been feeling some negative energy menacing around me, making me feel demotivated and not passionate about everything that I'm doing.

Perhaps chasing after numbers is really stressing me out; perhaps trying too hard to clear my mind has made my mind even more "blocked". The feeling of "I don't belong here" gets more intense everyday and this morning I told myself that I need to do something about it - I need to escape! I have been contemplating whether or not to stay. I shouldn't leave my family & friends behind and escape to a foreign place, but the feeling of getting away is very intense. I need a change. Anywhere but here.

Stop caring if you don't mean it

2010-01-18T00:56:00.006+08:00

It does not help me at all by feeding me so much information that I DO NOT need. You know I can't handle it, why do you still do that to me? Why are you being so concerned? Can you stop caring so much about me? Why did you ask so many questions? Why wouldn't you give me a break? You are NOT helping to lift me up, but you are making me going down further. I do cherish your friendship very much, but what you're doing is hurting me. Please have mercy on me and just stop whatever you are doing.

梦醒后的惆怅

2009-12-20T02:00:00.005+08:00

公司有一个与我同月同日生的女生，只是她比我小8岁。她坐在我隔壁，理所当然我们也常常聊天。当我们初相识时，我与这个女生正巧也有一些相似的经历，所以我对她总有点不一样的感觉。话虽如此，我和她的交情并不是很深，平日只限于公事上的来往。

前天，我却做了个奇怪的梦。梦里有这个女生，她对我说了一些匪夷所思的话，那些话竟在我梦醒后依然萦绕耳边。梦里她告诉我说，最近我们俩的生活都挺闷，需要多找点活动。然后她竟说我和她在年纪上的差距让我们在选择活动和被活动选择中也有所不同。她再说，她比我年轻，社交圈子比我大多了，身边单身和可以或乐意一起搞活动的人比我多很多；而我就不同了，生活圈子日复一日不断的缩小，身边有时间并乐意与我搞活动的人真的很少。终结来讲，我的生活无可否认是比较枯燥乏味和郁闷的。

听到这里我突然从梦中惊醒。醒来的心情十分纳闷，一股浓浓的惆怅涌上心头。人说日有所思，夜有所梦，醒着时的我是否真的那么担忧自己的生活？还是我真的太害怕苦闷的生活？是我太在意年龄上的变化而局限自己该有或适合的活动？是否也有人有着像我这样的想法，我这样想又是否正常？越想就越觉得好可怕，那天早晨的几个小时我不断在思索。

随着年龄增长，心态改变了实属正常，可是常常觉得跟身边的人脱节了却是非常可悲。到底要怎么样才能摆脱这个封锁着心灵的框框？心灵怎样才能被释放和自由呢？

谁活该？

2009-12-14T23:35:00.004+08:00

你是否曾有过这样的想法: "活该，他都有今天咯!"？

你可以选择在他人得意时不为他锦上添花，但不要在他落魄时对他落井下石。
你可以不必雪中送炭，却也无需雪上加霜。
你当然可以不用心存善念，可是千万别心怀恶念。

你又是否相信世间有因果循环？

Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present

2009-11-29T23:50:00.004+08:00

A friend forwarded the following to me. Very meaningful..

Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Dream more while you are awake.
Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

If we could practise at least one of the many phrases listed above, I guess we'll definitely be happier :)

Sixth session

2009-11-28T00:28:00.001+08:00

Time flies, about 1.5 months ago, I went for the First session and now I have already attended the 6th session last week, going for the 7th in the coming week.

Outcome has been positive. I come to realise that issues revolving around me are actually inter-connecting. Well, given time, I am sure I will find ways to resolve them all. Be optimistic and have faith in myself will help me get to my goal :)

Wish me luck!

遺傳學

2009-11-24T23:18:00.001+08:00

A friend forwarded this piece of info to me. Not sure how true is this, hahaha...

這重要！為人父母一定要看。

滿有趣的遺傳學,
各位!不要再罵自己的兒子了, 看看內容吧~~

遺傳學精要

決定智商的八對基因全部都是位於
X 染色體上面，男生是 XY，
X 是來自母親，
Y是來自父親。所以男生的智商全部都是來自母親的遺傳，然後女生是 XX，!
所以女生的智商是父親跟母親各有一半影響。

女生的智商是父親母親都有影響，所以會有中和的效應。
女生智商的分布會呈現自然分布
(normal distribution)，就是? ? 鐘狀，中? ○怞h，兩邊較少。
男生因為是只受一方影響，所以智商分布會偏向在兩個極端。也就是說，男生天才比較多，但是同時蠢材之中也是男生特別多。

這個故事告訴我們「你要判斷一個男生聰不聰明，看他媽媽就知道。」可是，你要怎麼判斷男生的媽媽聰不聰明？
......然後我們用機率來算：

生男孩的機率
=
1/2；生女孩的機率
=1/2。

生男孩的時候, 母親對男孩智商的影響力
= 1
生女孩的時候，母親對女孩智商的影響力
=
1/2
所以說母親跟父親對於下一代智商的影響力
(期望值 )的比例是

1*1/2
+ 1/2*1/2 : 0*1/2 + 1/2*1/2 = 0.75： 0.25
= 3：1
= 母：父

所以說，如果你是很笨的男生，你千萬要娶一個聰明的女生。這樣你小孩翻盤的機率還有七成五，人生還是充滿了希望。

當女生看到一個男生很聰明，他父親也聰明的機率可能是 = 0%
(應該說，就算他父親很聰明，也對他是沒有影響的)，可是他母親很聰明的機率是 100%。

所以說，如果妳在考慮要嫁給一個很聰明的男生的時候，你就要小心他媽媽，可能會是一個很會算計的婆婆。

反之，當你看到一個男生很笨的時候，沒錯，他通常會很有錢，這是上帝的安排，上帝為了不讓人類滅亡，所以他會讓很笨的人很有錢，這樣他才能娶到聰明的女生。

總之，當你看到很笨的男生的時候，不要猶豫，嫁給他。不要覺得你是為了他的錢，你要跟自己說，你是為了要改善人類未來的基因。

以上三個結論為：人類智商理性鐵蛋定律

我重複一次：
判斷男生智商，看媽媽 → 媽媽聰明，兒子聰明。
笨男生無論如何也要娶聰明女生→改良品種。

女生不要嫁聰明男生，應該嫁給笨男生→免得有個聰明厲害的婆婆。

Overly eventful

2009-10-19T00:25:00.004+08:00

I regretted saying my 2008 wasn't an eventful year. My 2009 so far has been very eventful, overly eventful I would say. If you read my posts, you know what I mean.

So many things have happened in the past few months. The past few weeks have been even more dramatic. Life is really a roller coaster, but mine only dives deeper, I have yet to see it coming up. Maybe it did, but soon after it came up for a bit, it went back down again. (Arghh.. stop being so negative!)

I have never been through so much emotional fluctuations in the past. Adapting to a new lifestyle has been quite a tough task. Trying to find the lost bearings in life has not been easy as well. Knowing that you are, but learning not to be emotionally dependent on someone or something has been my biggest challenge. If anyone has any tip or recommendation to help me get to what I struggle to achieve, please help...

On a separate note, I also noticed that I wrote many boring posts lately - boring because they were all related to my emotions and some were very negative too. When can I write something interesting again? Now I feel bored with myself :(

报应？

2009-10-04T23:33:00.003+08:00

这个故事引人省思，作为女人，我不知道该不该怪这故事里的女主角。但是，我同时也为另一个受害者感到愤愤不平。到底这事情的发生是该归咎男人的多情，还是女人的明知故犯，飞蛾扑火？有时候我真的不明白，女人何苦为难女人呢？

有天一个女人对她的朋友说她害怕报应。朋友问她为什么这么说。女人说她曾跟一个有妇之夫有段短暂的婚外情。男人的老婆毫不知情。她很内疚自己当了别人婚姻里的第三者。这不伦关系只维持了几个月，因为她后来发现男人根本不会为她放弃家庭，他们的关系根本没有未来，所以决定了断这段孽缘。

分开后，男人仍是不断联络女人，希望女人会回头。其实女人对男人还是不能忘情，但是她知道自己做错了，所以决定不回头找他。几个月过去了，女人仍是单身，虽然身边不缺追求者，但是就是没有一个适合的对象。女人感叹为何找不到一个可以依靠的好男人。说真的，女人的条件不差，她漂亮，自信，聪明，事业还不错。也因为如此，她说也许是报应，上天要罚她。她的朋友说，尽量多做点善事，希望可以化解。现在，她既然知道自己当初做错了，而且也没有错下去，也算是及时悔改，上天也该不会重罚她吧。

我不知该如何反应。站在受害者那边想，我知道这伤痛是一种不能形容的锥心之痛，任何一个有良知的人都不该这么去伤害另一个人。可是，当我往犯错的那方看，我仿佛可以感受到她的愧疚。很矛盾。

虽说人是感情动物，但是有感情并非什么事都可以不顾后果的去做。我们凭什么可以为了满足我们的私欲而去伤害别的无辜的人？

可能我不能以自己的观点来代其他人说话。我把道德观看得重一点，不代表其他人也是，而每个人的价值观也不同。只是，我相信 “己所不欲，勿施于人”。做决定前，不妨尝试站在别人的角度想想，做点对得起自己的良心，也不伤害到别人的事，这也算行善吧。

First sesssion

2009-10-03T21:54:00.003+08:00

Just started the first session today. I didn't feel comfortable in the beginning but got better after awhile. It surely wasn't easy to do it in front of a stranger. Anyway, I guess it is a good start and I look forward to seeing the outcome.

God has a good plan in mind for me, perhaps this is the first step to reaching it.

Tira mi su, per favore!

2009-10-01T01:23:00.001+08:00

Am I not good?

I am not as efficient as I was
My works are no longer of good quality
I struggle to keep up with the pace of life (but everyone else seems okay)
I am not passionate about things that I do
I lack of interest in exploring new things
I am afraid of challenges
I am afraid of failure
I am losing my confidence

I start to doubt if I am able to deliver the best for my own life

What is my strength?

I see so many weaknesses in me!

Why do I feel suffocating having my hands full juggling so many things in life, while others can do it so easily?

Am I just not good enough? Oh my God, I sound like a failure, I start to feel depressed again.

一场大病的启发

2009-09-22T13:46:00.004+08:00

今天起床头脑一片空白，隐约记得昨夜聊过的话题。我记得自己说过的话，对自己下的承诺。老实说，虽然你知道我离开精神气爽好像还有一段距离，但是你还是对我不离不弃。这个病缠了我好几个月，我的情况时好事坏。一路走来，尝试了不同的药物，换过了各种心情，努力坚持着，希望等到痊愈的那天。

这场病把我击垮了。从中我了解到的是无论一个人如何挺着刚强的外表来掩饰内里的懦弱和无知，如果不去真真切切的面对现实，承认自己的懦弱和无知，永远无法战胜潜伏在内的心魔。人生也不可能都一帆风顺，以往的美好并不代表永恒。人生失去的平衡点，应该努力填补空白，找回属于自己的平衡。

世界上不幸的人多的是，自己其实已经很幸运。颠簸的路上一直有许许多多的人和真心的朋友不断扶持我，帮助我和鼓励我。这件事情有两面，我不该只是将重点放到灰暗的一面而忽略了值得去学习的另一面。看得透这两面，病愈的那天应该不会太远了吧?

“鱼对水说你看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水里。水对说鱼我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心里。鱼哭泣，只有水了解。水若是有天混浊了，鱼便会把混浊物吃光，让水找回原有的清澈。鱼与水的情谊不能分割，这才是真正的友情。”

谢谢水，没有水，也没有鱼。这也是人生的平衡。

Seeking closure

2009-09-22T03:42:00.005+08:00

This is the story of a girl who’s still seeking closure from a broken relationship. Most people around her know what happened to her. She hopes that by sharing this out here, she will find her way to closure soon.

It has been 5 months now after the incident happened. She could feel the pain has subsided significantly and she thought closure was near.

Friday 18 Sep, a dramatic day and the day of truth, yes, right in front of her very eyes. She has imagined how it would be like & rehearsed many times in her mind, to prepare herself in case this happens someday in the future. The thunder storm came without a signal. Minutes before it happened, she was happily chatting with her boss and a colleague on their way to lunch. Her heart skipped a beat when she spotted her – that gal. The next second, her heart stopped & was frozen when she saw him, standing next to the gal. Her eyes bulged out as she was in total shock. They walked passed her, that gal stared at her & put up a smile on the face. He smiled at her too, and looked down on the floor while walking away.......... Within split second, she realised that she has to smile back. She did it and continued walking to the restaurant.

She felt cold, her hands were shivering. She told herself to stay calm, relaxed because she can't possibly breakdown in front of her boss & colleague! Her hands were shivering so badly that she couldn't hold the glass. She excused herself and went to the toilet.

She could no longer hold her tears coz the pain was just so unbearable. The flashback of images of what she saw kept playing in her head.. All her questions answered, all her suspicions proved right. All his lies fell apart. Although she has always believed that she knew the actual reason to the break-up since day one, when you see it with your own eyes...the pain is definitely excruciating.

It's God's plan. 3 weeks before this happened, he texted her. In his sms-es, he gave her a false impression that he wasn't seeing anyone at the moment. Was he trying to convince her that the break-up was really not due to that gal? Was he doing it to protect that gal? Or was he trying to justify that he didn't want her to be hurt further coz he thought she couldn't handle the truth? She was confused. She started praying to God. She sought God's guidance; she asked God to show her what's right & what's wrong, she asked God to tell her the truth. She felt weak and lousy, for she knew that deep in her heart, she still wanted to convince herself that he's not a dishonest & disloyal person, and she wanted to believe that the cause of the break-up was something else rather than a 3rd person. She was stupid.

God heard and responded to her prayers. God knows that she’s a stubborn person and in order to prove to her that what she saw was real, He made her bumped into them not only once, but twice within an hour!

It was more hurtful than what she thought it would be. She thought that she has dealt with the pain of the break-up and put her past relationship behind, she didn't realise that there's still a long way to closure. She feels that she’s still stuck in the pain. She tried very hard to move a step forward, but when something like this happens, it makes her walk 2 steps backward, back into the valley.

Someone said that there is no right or wrong in a relationship. She could not comprehend why wouldn't people acknowledge the mistake they have made, get over it and live a better life. How does a person live a life of lies? A man whom everyone thinks that he's a good man turned out to be a big liar. And the gal, a young, pretty and innocent looking gal, who also has a stable relationship of 5 years, why would she not put herself in another girl's shoe and ask herself how would she feel if someone did that to her? Do they not have a conscience when they decided to deceive someone's heart? Well...there may be answers to the questions, there may not be.

God knows what's best for everyone of us, He has a plan for all of us. Same goes to her case. Perhaps God knows that her faith isn't very strong in Him and she’s still shouldering some of her burdens, therefore He sent her messages to tell her that it is time to let go of the past and move on. She knows that she has a weak soul and a low spirit now, but she will not stop praying and will continue to pursue her own happiness. Keep praying.

Escape

2009-09-11T01:35:00.001+08:00

Another sleepless night. My mind is blank, I am tired, but I just couldn't sleep. I feel jaded, nothing seems to excite me and I don't know why. What's wrong with me? I have no answer.... I feel demotivated, I feel bored and I just don't feel like doing anything....

Can I wake up as a different person, living in a different place and have a different life, perhaps for a day? I want to run away from the city, from my current life and live in a village where no one knows me...

I am not pessimistic about life, I'm just bored and I want something new. But how?

09.09.09 - for better, for worse, forever love

2009-09-09T02:14:00.005+08:00

09.09.09 or 999, is considered auspicious according to Chinese beliefs because in Mandarin, the word "nine" signifies "long-lasting". Therefore, many have chosen to tie the knot with their life partner on this very special day.

To the lovebirds who are exchanging vows and rings today, I wish you immeasurable happiness and a life-long marital bliss.

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

别人的婚礼

2009-08-01T02:42:00.002+08:00

明天有个婚宴要出席，但心里很矛盾到底要不要出席。原因是可能会碰到不想见到的人。一对新人其实在一年前便发出通知，2个月前也收到了他们的请柬。虽然我跟他们不是太熟，但我当初既然答应了会出席，现在我也应该履行我的诺言。说真的，我心里是替他们开心的，毕竟恋爱了多年，现在他们结婚了，这是件很幸福的事。

每次参加别人的婚礼总是感慨万分。记得1月初在新加坡的一场婚礼上，新娘选唱了一首名叫 "I've finally found someone" 的情歌给新郎听，那时真的很感动。我想，每个人若是找到那个能够与你生死相随的人，是天底下其中一件最幸福的事。当时，在那一刻，心里是很有憧憬的。当时，当然不知道所谓的幸福已渐行渐远。有时候，每件事情的发生可能是冥冥中注定，说得轻松点当然就是接受这一切是上天的安排，而且也要相信事情的发生 is always for the better. 我在自我安慰吗？对我而言，这是我要给自己的一个信念吧，要自己勇敢的走下去。幸福，总有天会来敲我的门吧。

要经历的总是逃不了，痛苦也是在所难免。我不怕苦，只是很害怕寂寞总是趁我最脆弱时来侵袭。上天给我的考验什么时候会结束？卧薪尝胆者最后会胜利吗？

Plain Jane

2009-07-21T23:13:00.005+08:00

I was a simple soul, a Plain Jane.

I took a tour to the Wonderland, had fun, pampered myself, and now I'm back, back to a Plain Jane's life again.

Dream

2009-07-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

I was holding a baby, he (maybe she?) never stopped crying.. I tried to comfort him, I sang him songs, I fed him milk, I tried my best, but he just wouldn't stop!

That was my dream. I had been having the same dream for a while. Anybody can interpret my dream? Can tell me what's the message behind this dream? Someone said the baby could be me in my sub-conscious mind - a helpless baby who seeks comfort...really?

I'm not sure how true the interpretation is, but that dream did bring back a scary memory that I had hidden deep within me. It had long passed and I don't think it's now back to haunt me.

God, please free me from fear.

Comfort

2009-06-28T23:46:00.001+08:00

This song comforts me every time i listen to it...

Sleepless 010609

2009-06-01T11:57:00.003+08:00

There's so much I want to tell, but sometimes I just don't know where to start. I've been telling the same old story many times and at one point my sister just came to me and asked me to stop. It's painful when it's your own sister who's refused to listen to you anymore but I understand that she has the rights to do so.

Life has changed so much and I find it hard to cope with all the sudden changes. I guess I was lucky that during the trying times, many friends came to me offering their helping hands, lending me their ears, comforting me in every way they could. Friends helped me walk through depression, they made me realised that I worth so much and that I shouldn't give up hope on myself.

I truly believe that these good people are heaven sent, for God knew I needed help and guidance. I have never gone so close to God until this recent incident that's happened to me. Now I can tell everyone that spiritual support is really important, especially when you can't lift the burden anymore, we have to believe that there is someone who has more (mighty) power to help.

When I looked back at what had happened, I couldn't believe that I have been through so much. (OK, perhaps to some people, my experience is just peanuts) It surely wasn't just a failed relationship, there were many more painful events, incidents and experiences. Yes, I had almost 7 good years, thanks to him. If I have a choice, I would choose to only remember the happy memories & leave all the pain, sadness, the betrayal, the tears, the sleepless nights etc behind. Can I do it? I don't know, but I've been trying hard, and I'm still trying.

At the initial stage, I was very depressed and I tried to talk things out with friends. Some people couldn't understand why do I need to take so long to heal or why do I continue to think negative or let myself to stay in the pain. What can I say? You're not me and you won't know how painful it is? You're not me so you won't know how much I can take? You're measuring me by the standards you set and it's unfair. Some people are strong, but some people aren't.

Well, keep talking about the painful experience really won't help me move on, will it? What can I do? Stop it? Yes, maybe I should. Or, perhaps I should continue to put my faith in God, believe that He always knows what's best for me & He has a plan in mind for me. I'll keep praying - for a better tomorrow.

Better in Time

2009-05-23T19:24:00.003+08:00

Having walked through a traumatic experience, I'm back again! I hope I can be just like this song - "Better in Time".

Slave of loneliness

2009-03-26T19:31:00.000+08:00

Humans are born to be lonely creatures. Everyone is a unique individual, although we see similarities in other human beings, but we are never the same, we can never find 2 identical individuals - this can only happen with only 2 exceptions - in the movie or clones (I think laws prohibit human cloning still).

At certain stage in life, we are left to be alone. "Lonely" can be physical or emotional. When someone is physically isolated, he feels lonely, that's physical loneliness. Emotional loneliness is more complex, someone can still feel emotionally lonely eventhough he's surrounded by a crowd. Loneliness induces depression, it can also affect our physical health.

When you're left out and you feel you're different than people around you, you'll feel lonely. When this happens and you're unwillingly accepting the situation, you'll feel hopeless.

I feel I am left out, in many aspects, unwillingly, and it all happens beyond my control. I am frustrated. All I want is to follow the crowd, adopt a normal life just like everyone else, but it does not happen as wished. I'm disappointed.

As a lady, I can strongly feel the changes in me as I age. My physcical self, my lifestyle has changed, my preferences, my hobbies, even my friends and everything else are constantly changing too. My life? Perhaps you can call it normal - I go to work, I go home right after work, I have my dinner, watch tv, relax and go to bed. Less catching up with friends, less activities.

My girlfriends either have their own families or they are spending their freetimes with their partners. What about me? Yes, I do the same too. But, I feel my schedule is so subjected to my partner's plans; if he has plans with his friends, I'll have to stay at home alone. Where are my friends? They're at home too, probably, spending time with their children, husbands - their family. So, I'll have to stay alone at home - no one has time for me. I can call them of course, but again, subject to their availability.

I am eager to take up a new life, I want to move on, but I can't. I am lonely.

I am a lonely soul stuck in an empty house. I talk and laugh to myself when no one else is at home. I spend more time communicating with my laptop than with a human. Most of the time I am surrounded by dead objects, not live humanbeings. How pity! You'd probably ask, what about your family? Family members are always there for you when you need them. Oh yes, they are important to me, but that doesn't mean they don't have their lives, their activities. Well, I know, everyone has their own life, and I should have my own too.

I fear for loneliness and so I have been defeated by loneliness. I am a slave of loneliness.

Year of the Ox Surprise

2009-01-31T11:59:00.007+08:00

Just like last year, his mom gave him a can of abalone & other items for CNY. Amongst all CNY items, abalone is his top favourite. I learnt that it is his family's "practice" to eat meehoon soup with abalone on the 1st day of CNY. So this year I got my hands on the abalone & made my own version of abalone meehoon soup.

The big bone - this makes delicious soup base (tonkotsu?)

The can of abalone

It surprised me when I opened the can and found this huge abalone! It's as big as my palm!

These are some top & side shots of the huge sea creature. I then sliced it into 6 thick pieces.

The end product - Pris' version of meehoon soup with abalone, ta da~

3rd party in a relationship

2008-11-15T17:51:00.005+08:00

I always wonder why would someone want or enjoy being the thrid party in another person's relationship? This will certainly not do you any good and it will hurt the innocent party whose relationship and life are being ruined by you! Put yourself in this person's shoe and tell me, how would you feel?

I do agree that if a relationship is close and the couple have trust and that they love each other, no one can get into it. Some people say that with the 3rd party's presence, it will make the couple realize that they’re not meant for each other because there is such a gap between them that allows a 3rd person's entrance. Oh, come on, please do not create such a lame excuse to cover up your fault. Why couldn't you go for someone who has not been taken and is still single or available?

If you have ever attempted to become a 3rd party, or have rightfully thought that you did nothing wrong but just doing something to get what you want; don't you think you're being very selfish? There is nothing to strive and work hard to get what you desire for, but it is SO WRONG to destroy someone else's life whom might not even know you and certainly have not hurt you before in the process of achieving your objective. How could you do this?!

Everyone can potentially be a 3rd party, he/she could be the most honest, or most innocent looking, or most friendly, or kindest person you may know. Sad to say, there are also a bunch of well-educated, someone who call themselves a professional...who enjoy wrecking other people's relationships yet do not think they are at fault. Shame on you!!!

Why would someone like to be called a s**t or b***h?? Would you be happier if you could get something you want from someone and destroy this person's life? Come on, go get a life!

I'm fat :( (part 2)

2008-11-04T17:18:00.000+08:00

I've tried to cut down my carbohydrate intake and I've tried not to eat rice for the past few days for it is very high in carbo; I did not have heavy dinner for the past 1 week but see what I get??

The result:
I put on weight?????!!!!!
To be exact, I put on 1kg.
Despite all my efforts, I put on weight! Arggghhh.....
It's so unfair....and I'm totally annoyed by the fact.

The decision:
I give up!
I've made up my mind - I wanna be a happy fat girl and that's it!
No more dietary plan, I'll just eat whatever food I like (provided it's not unhealthy) and forget about trying to fit back into my old pants etc, just buy new ones.

Hmmm.....I'm happy, at last.

Another year older, another year wiser (part 3)

2008-10-31T21:50:00.001+08:00

After the spa, we went to Soho KL (Solaris at Sri Hartamas) for dinner. Of the limited choices available there, we chose Dubrovnik. As its name suggests (Dubrovnik is located at the southern coast of Croatia), the restaurant serves a fusion of traditional Croatian and Western food.

We had simple food - a duo colori soup each and shared a mixed grilled platter.

We made our way to Shang after dinner for a couple of drinks.

Overall, this year's birthday wasn't an enventful day (it was rather peaceful & nothing big happened) but it's definitely one of the memorable ones. Afterall, this is my very last twenty-something birthday.....

Another year older, another year wiser (part 2)

2008-10-29T20:25:00.002+08:00

On my birthday, my darl brought me to this place - Emma Elizabeth Beauty & Spa located at Jalan Maarof for a pampering spa retreat.

The spa package includes a body scrub, body mask, steam bath, 1.5 hours of body massage & a facial. I ended up spending 4.5 hours there.

Nothing special about the body scrub and body mask, but the body massage was an exhilarating experience. It loosened up and revitalized my stiff muscles, and refreshed my tired body.

The facial - started with 2 cleanses, followed by a face exfoliation, then a deep cleansing mask...then the manual extraction - the physical removal of blackheads, pimples and other blemishes from the skin. Ouch ouch...it was painful! A soothing toner was then applied to soothe the "injured" skin, cool steamer was used to close & refine the open pores. Afterwhich, the esthetician put on another layer of cream mask on my face which smells like volcanic ash. According to the esthetician, the mask is good for blood circulation as well as to hydrate & nourish the skin :)

Here are some shots I took at the spa:

Another year older, another year wiser (part 1)

2008-10-29T20:08:00.007+08:00

I had a terrific birthday this year, big thanks to my darl and to those who sent me their wishes on my special day...

Not much of a celebration and no big surprises this year. The presents? A flower bouquet, a spa package, a simple dinner, 2 necklaces and 2 birthday cakes.

On the eve of my birthday, the flower bouquet was delivered to my office and it was already sitting on my desk before I arrived. Pretty red roses they are. People say red roses represent beauty, passion, love & emotional warmth (ref: WikiAnswers). I think I like the meaning behind more than the roses themselves, hahaha!

Later that night, darl brought home a classic Tiramisu cake. Again, I like the meaning it brings better than the actual product. Tiramisu, in Italian is tira-mi-sù, which means "pick/lift me up" (ref: The Free Dictionary.com). I really like the emotional aspect of lift me up - it cheered up my day!

At 12am, I made my birthday wishes, blew off the candles and cut the cake....

....and I hope my wishes will come true.....

I am fat :(

2008-10-13T19:52:00.000+08:00

I could not recall how many friends/ colleagues/ acquaintants have told me this: "You are more curvy than you were last time". My standard reply would be: "Hehe, I know I am fatter now, am I not?". Then the other person's standard answer would be (thinking that I was offended by his/her words): "Please don't get me wrong, you actually look much better now, you were too slim."

I know their comments are valid and they had meant no insult, they were just being factual. Oh yes, I put on 5kg or so throughout my stay in the UK and I failed to shed any excess fat off my body though I tried! My old pants and jeans don't fit anymore....and that's quite depressing to be honest.

When age increases, many other things will increase:

1. wrinkles
2. waistline (how wonderful if it's bustline!)
3. weight (yes for me)

3. responsibilities
4. commitments
5. things to worry about
6. grey hair
7. wisdom (after a few negative ones, here comes a good one)
8. others - please add on for me if you can think of any

Arghh...I'm afraid of getting old and getting fat, just hate that feeling. This feeling gets more intensed especially when you're on the brink of turning the big 3 (although there's still 1 more year to go)....I don't wanna grow old and grow fat at the same time!!

Dinner at Reunion, Bangsar Village 2

2008-10-08T23:26:00.009+08:00

OK, I know I've never done food review here before and I think I don't have the intention to do so either. Reason being, I must say that I can't be a good food blogger - I have to admit that I don't snap good enough food photos to tempt you to try the food; I suck in expressing thus I just can't tell you how good or bad the food is, and I am definitely lousy when it comes to making recommendations.

Anyway, this is not a food review post, it's just a short write-up about my dinner experience at Reunion, located on the 2nd Floor of Bangsar Village 2. This place is highly recommended by a colleague (actually my lady boss) for its superb food with a homemade taste. Of all dishes, she made a favourable recommendation on its steamed egg.

We went on a Friday night and the place was quite packed. We took my colleague's word for it and ordered some homey dishes. These are what we had:

Steamed cod fish (RM79)

Very fresh cod fish, I like the texture very much. My top pick for the night.

Steamed minced pork with salted fish (RM17.80)

Simple and unpretentious dish, tastes OK.

Stir-fried cabbage with shrimps (RM15.80)

My darl's favourite dish. Nothing special about it, our regular "tai-chow" stall can produce the same too.

Pu-er tea (RM2.80 per pax)

The cutlery & table setting

1 watercress soup (RM12.80) - no photo was taken
2 steamed rice (RM1.90 per bowl) - no photo was taken

All the above cost RM150+, expensive eh? We blamed it on the location (Bangsar), the deco and the inflation of course! Oh by the way, we skipped steamed egg as we thought it's a little too pricey - RM13+ (or RM17?). We'll save it for our next visit, perhaps.

无缘对面不相逢

2008-09-24T23:38:00.006+08:00

上星期与一位朋友吃饭时无意中谈到她的前男友。我告诉朋友说我在几个星期前在某购物商场碰见她的前男友与他的家人。当时朋友颇为讶异，这是因为她与前男友分手了那么多年来，从不曾碰过面。就算是在她结婚的当天，前男友也没出现道贺。

这是否就应了人们常说的"有缘千里来相会，无缘对面不相逢"?

我相信缘分；要是两人是有缘的话，无论两人是天各一方，还是两人多么南辕北辙，这两个人总会有相逢，相识相知的机会。相反，若是两人缘分已了，那么就算站在两对面也都看不见大家。

其实我现任男友与前男友都来自南部的S城市。由于男友的父母亲都住在那里，所以我偶尔也会陪同男友回家与他的家人吃饭与聚会。虽说大家都身处在同一个地方(S城也不大)，但每次到S城总是没有碰见过前男友。我想这就证明了我们两人的缘分真的尽了。

很巧的是，虽然我和他分开后不曾见过面，但是我仍经常从不同的人身上听到他的消息。他的好友是我中六同学在大学里的宿舍舍友；他的一位女生朋友是我大学第一年的室友；他的另一位好友是我其中一位客户公司里的职员。两个月前，我到银行办事时更碰上了以前我和他都认识的一个朋友，从他口中得知一些他的消息，原来他将在年底完婚。当时这个旧朋友竟笑说我和他的感情没能开花结果是很可惜。其实事情隔了那么多年，而且我们这么久以来也都没见过对方，现在想起也真的没什么深刻的感觉。说穿了，命中注定我们每个人都得走着自己的路，以往过去的人是人生的过客，而过去的事就是我们自己的回忆与历练，没有可惜不可惜的。

奇妙的缘分让你错过了以前的那位，但也让你遇上了现在的这一个。没有过去又何能有将来? 而且我相信缘分为我带来的，以及我选择的将来会是更美好的；至少现在我是快乐的，满足的。

*****************************

附上这首歌，很适合这个主题 :)

鄭秀文-如果我們不見面

The Neverfull Phenomenon is in town!

2008-09-04T23:02:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since I last updated my blog. I had a busy & tiring August, mainly due to heavy workload and I guess it's also because of age is catching up (sad but I must admit) :(

OK, what's this post about? I've been wanting to write about this long ago but never had the time to do so... The Neverfull phenomenon has taken Kuala Lumpur by storm!!! The Louis Vuitton Neverfull bags are everywhere!

photo credits: eluxury.com

I saw different ladies carrying them at all the major shopping malls I've been to recently - 1U, the Curve, Mid Valley, The Gardens, Pavilion, Bangsar Village, Bangsar Shopping Center etc. It's a phenomenon, as I've never in my life actually seen so many bags of the same design (in 3 different sizes) in the same day. Some people call it the "it" bag, the most popular bag in town at the moment. Well, thanks largely to LV's latest adverts of course. Go to LV's flagship store at Starhill, check out its official website, flip through the latest mags...you'll see the bag. What's more is that LV got 2 of the members from the infamous Coppola family (1 of the famous families in Hollywood) as the featured icons, together with the Neverfull bags in their latest ad campaign - father Francis Ford & daughter Sofia. It is yet another successful campaign after the Rolling Stone rocker - Keith Richard's.

Other than being aggressively promoted, I guess the main reason why the Neverfull bags are selling like hot cakes is because they have the lowest price to size ratio (perhaps I should call them as "most value for money" buys?) amongst all LV bags - pay a reasonably low price (compared to other LV bags), you get a reasonably big sized bag... With the affordable prices for this series, many can own a LV now.

Talking about this, let me share some interesting findings on this phenomenon. Based on my observations (through many different visits at different malls at different time of the day), the phenomenon will only "strike" after 1pm (lunch time) and peak at 3pm.. I tried to figure out why and all I could think of was that these Neverfull ladies probably only wake up in the afternoon & start shopping after lunch.

I have no plans to add Neverfull to my collection as I don't fancy an open tote. But to all the ladies (or even guys) out there who plan to get one or have already gotten one, welcome to the club!

Now and then 2

2008-07-16T22:59:00.004+08:00

今天，我正式告别当"量地官"的日子，开始了上班族的生活。

开始了一份新的工作，在新的办公室，却在旧的公司。是的，我回到了我一年半前离开了的旧公司工作。有的人也许会讶异，因为很多人会说"好马不吃回头草"，是不是找不着一份好工，就索性回到以前的公司"混饭吃"。嗯，好工作，好公司，薪金不错的不是没有，只是除了以上所提到的，我想我仍是想找回那份熟悉的感觉，跟一些熟悉的同事和朋友们一起共事。而一样重要的是，我希望可以在这份新工作(旧环境)当中学习到新的知识。

一年半前与一年半后，许多东西的确是很不同了。当中，人事变动最为显着。虽然以往那班友好的旧同事都已离开了(当然心中难免会感慨)，但是我希望可以与新的队友们在工作上擦出不同的火花，也认识多点新朋友。

为我的新工作加油! 加油，加油，加油!

Journey to the "Root" 寻根之旅

2008-07-07T17:18:00.002+08:00

It had always been my late grandma's dream to return to her hometown in Dongguan东莞, located at the Canton province of China to visit her son (my eldest uncle) and her relatives. Unfortunately, she was not able to realise it - she passed away in year 2003.

Dongguan was never on my list of places to visit only until recently when my mom mentioned about my relatives in China. Without much planning, my parents, my sister & I joined a tour to Macau澳门-Canton广东省 (cities visited include Shenzhen深圳, Foshan佛山, Guangzhou广州, Zhongshan中山, Shunde顺德, Panyu番禺 & Zhuhai珠海) to start with & we stayed over in Dongguan for another 2 days after the tour ended.

Canton province is so much developed today compared to 10 years ago, thanks mainly to the investors from Hong Kong. Now, many high rise buildings, factories & new developments have sprung up in the major cities within the Canton province. People's standard of living have also increased greatly.

(Date: 27 Jun-3 Jul 2008)

Macau - Ruins of St. Paul's (大三巴)

Shenzhen - Window of The World (世界之窗)

Foshan - Huang Feihong's Memorial Hall (佛山黄飞鸿纪念馆)

Panyu & Shunde

the famous delicacy in Shunde - "double-skinned" milk (双皮奶) & ginger mixed with milk (姜撞奶)

Guangzhou

the Chinese White Dolphin (中華白海豚) show at the Ocean's Park

Guangzhou night view along the Pearl River (珠江)

Zhongshan - "Zhan Garden" (詹园) & Sichuan "face-off" (四川变脸) show

the Sichuan "face-off" (四川变脸) show

Zhuhai

Dongguan 东莞 - the root of my family
The ancestral hall of the Yap's family (叶氏宗祠)

the temple (拱手娘娘庙) where my grandma prayed before she departed to South East Asia

an old house of over 700 years

abundance of Longan fruits

The family portrait

my niece's daughter who calls me "grand aunt 姑婆"

Average food, Bad service, Expensive pricing = Noble House

2008-06-21T23:38:00.003+08:00

It was supposed to be a happy family dinner gathering, but there was a slight imperfection due to the poor service & average food quality we received from the restaurant.

We picked Noble House Restaurant (located near Jln Imbi) amongst others as we have had pretty good experience from our previous visits - good deco, good ambiance, good food, good location. For this time, we've decided to try out one of their special set meals as we had always had food from the ala carte menu. As I was the organiser, I called to make a reservation on last Saturday (1 week in advance) & requested for a private room. The request was accepted at the time of booking.

So..everything seemed fine until yesterday - one day before our dinner, I got a call from Noble House. I was told that they were unable to put us in a room as they have a wedding banquet on that day, the rooms are all occupied. In return, they offered to put us at a corner table so that we'll have more privacy. That was OK and I accepted the arrangement as they informed us in advance. However, more problems & issues came on the next day.

1. Seating.
We were initially given a corner table as promised, but we had to give our table to another family with more members because there were 12 of them & only 8 of us. That was still fine as the captain did come & politely asked our permission before they moved us. But we felt we were being unfairly treated - it seems it makes no difference to book early, good seats are always offered to bigger group & regulars.

2. Poor service.
I am not sure if it's because we didn't spend enough to "qualify" for a good service or perhaps for some other reasons which I am not aware of, we were not well-treated. Our bill was close to RM800 & on top of that we gave a RM10 tips (despite a 10% service charge has already been charged), the lady who collected our money DID NOT even say THANK YOU & just walked off! She was very rude :(

3. Average food for the price charged.
Frankly, I will not go back for their set meals anymore. I've tried some of the foods from the ala carte menu before and they were good, so I had relatively high expectations for the set meals. To my biggest disappointment, the food was nothing special but just very average. For the price we paid (RM100 per head), we could savour a good variety of quality food at Lemon Garden Cafe, Shangri-la Hotel, plus it's buffet - all you can eat!

Overall, we did have a great time together - chatting, joking & enjoy each other's company. However, we would not be going back to Noble House again for our future gatherings.

(Sorry, no pics on food, didn't bring my camera along)

Nostalgia

2008-06-17T02:04:00.007+08:00

For no apparent reason other than feeling nostalgic, I am sleepless tonight. Perhaps I am getting older (only old people like to always think & talk about their past), I tend to think about the good old days when I was younger.

Today, I dug out my secondary school magazine from a pile of old books & files, which was about to be disposed off. The magazine has a considerably meaningful name - "Pelita" (it means lamp in English), a lamp that lights up the darkness to show you the way when you are lost, confused or when you needed it. Well, I suppose the school serves the same purpose as a lamp too - to lead us to a brighter future.

I was from a school located at the "gangster town" of KL (the town got its name in the '70s because it was the home to a notorious killer). Despite its bad reputation, the school produces some really brilliant students every year and some of the alumni are now famous icons in the society.

Many familiar faces in Pelita are now strangers to me, I do not know where they are, what they are doing now; I haven't spoken to some of them since I left school. Sometimes, I hear about them from other friends (just like how they hear about me I guess) - someone is now a successful businessman; someone is a mom of 4; someone broke up with his girlfriend of X years; someone has just become a dad/mum; someone lost his/her job not long ago; someone is now living & working abroad; someone has just bought a house somewhere..... All of these "someones" were once indifferent - students in the same school.

You & I might be the "someone" who is missed by someone else at the current moment. Are you missing someone now? An old friend? Maybe it's time to pick up the phone & make a phone call as you might be surprised that the person at the other end is also thinking of doing the same too.

The teachers

Now and then

2008-05-27T00:41:00.002+08:00

Things change constantly over time and here's just one example:

KL Sentral 2 years ago (May 2006)

KL Sentral now (May 2008)

The old KL Sentral buildings (where the arrow points) are now surrounded by new developments.

***********************

Not only does the environment change, people do change too. People who were once your good friends may not be as close to you now as before; some friends who were single are now married and have their own families...

I am not sure if I have changed much compared to the very last time we met. You, my friends, would you have an answer for me?

Telephone Scam! (my own experience)

2008-05-23T18:38:00.008+08:00

This is my own experience and it happened just this morning. I was at my boyfriend's house when this incident took place. I thought it would be good to share it with all of you & hope you will be alert if you happen to experience the same.

May 23rd, 10am. The continuous telephone ring woke me up from my sleep, so I went to the living room to pick up the phone. The following is my conversation with the "scammer" a Malay lady, she called herself Rina.

Rina: Can I speak to Miss XXX (my boyfriend)? (Note: my boyfriend's name sounds like a lady's name, so the scammer kept referring him as "her")
Me: I'm sorry, he's at work now. Who's speaking please?
Rina: Oh, dia tak ada kat rumah. Ini kawan ke? Family?
Me: Saya kawan dia.
Rina: Nama saya Rina. Saya call from a lawyer firm, ingin bercakap dengan Cik XXX (again she refers my boyfriend as "her") berkaitan dengan Maybank credit card payment Cik XXX yang belum dibayar. Sebab saya nak find out if Cik XXX betul-betul belum jelas payment sebelum kita bagi surat lawyer.

I was suspicious from the moment when the Malay lady referred my boyfriend as "Miss", so when she said it was regarding his overdue Maybank credit card payment, I confirmed that this is a SCAM as he doesn't have (and has never had) a Maybank credit card!! Nevertheless, I continued the conversation with her in attempt to get more information from her.

Me: Rina, I will pass the message to her (I used "her", not wanting to disclose my boyfriend's actual gender), but can I know which legal firm are you calling from? And you number please.
Rina: (not answering my question) Adakah alamat Cik XXX di Taman ABC? Boleh tak you confirm alamat Cik XXX di Taman ABC? (prompting for full address)
Me: (insisted) Your company name & number please?
Rina: Saya dari Zuri & Co. Number saya (03) 21452935, ext 248. Suruh dia cepat call I tau.
Me: (trying to get the firm's exact name) Sorry I didn't get it, can you repeat the company name?
Rina: (hesitated) Company name Zurina Association (it's a different name now?!).
Me: (suspicious) Can you spell me the company name? And mana office you?
Rina: Office dekat Sun Plaza lah, nama: Z-U-R-...(sounded frustrated & trying to divert my attention) Eh, ini siapa ni? Kenapa banyak sangat soalan ni?
Me: Saya kawan dia. Sebab saya kena pass message to her nanti, kenalah ask for more information supaya dia tau what happened kan?
Rina: (sounded sarcastic & again trying to divert my attention) Oh, bagusnya kawan ni, nak dapatkan banyak info. Bagus kawan ni...... Satu perkara lagi, boleh tak you confirm alamat Cik XXX kat Taman ABC?
Me: Sorry, I cannot confirm that for you. (if she's calling from a reliable source, she should have his details!) Tapi, saya akan pass message pada dia nanti & suruh dia call balik.
Rina: (still trying to get more info from me) Oh, ingat suruh dia call I secepat mungkin, perkara ni sangat penting..........
Me: (not wanting to let her continue) Ok, thanks for calling. Bye. (I hung up the phone)

I checked the phone unit after I hung up & the caller ID showed (03) 21413414, yes, it doesn't match the number she gave me earlier!

I have often read from forwarded emails & the internet about scams conducted through telephone but have never thought this would happen on me!

Please be alert, no matter what, do not disclose your personal details such as IC number, home address, credit card number, password or PIN etc to a stranger - if the caller is calling from a bank, from a legal firm or any authentic & reliable source, they should have all your details. If you have doubts, do ask them questions for identity verification instead.

My last 20 hours in London

2008-05-05T07:18:00.005+08:00

This post marks the countdown of my last 20 hours in London before returning home. My (almost) one and a half years stay has been fruitful & memorable; I learned & gained a lot along the way, they are invaluable and immeasurable.

It's not strange at all for me to feel sad, for I truly enjoyed the every single day I've spent here. I am trying not to let the sad feelings get over my head, there are still things I need to do and prepare before leaving town tomorrow. For now, I need some good rest and wake up fresh in the morning to enjoy the half a day in town.

So long, farewell London (for now), and to all my friends at home, see you soon!

My TravelMap by TripAdvisor

2008-04-13T22:50:00.003+08:00

Create your own travel map or travel blog

Visit TripAdvisor.com

First holiday of my 1-month Europe tour

2008-04-05T07:05:00.005+08:00

Matterhorn in Zermatt

Date: 31 Mar - 4 Apr 2008
Venue: Zurich-Leukerbad-Zermatt-Luzern

There were snowy mountains, thermal bath, nice lakes, beautiful scenery, fast & well-connected trains etc.

A perfect holiday with my special someone.

lake view in Zurich

A sunny day in Leukerbad

It snowed the next day - Leukerbad

Leukerbad

On the way to Zermatt

Tagged!

2008-03-27T04:39:00.004+08:00

I was tagged by karen and thought I would also do the same here and tag someone else (although I don't really know how this works..anyway, just have fun doing it, hehe).

Now, let me tag mimi!

This is how it goes -

My name is:
P - Popular with all types of people
R - Good gf
I - Loves to laugh
S - Lives life for fun
C - Really easy to fall in love with
I - Loves to laugh
L - Best smile
L - Best smile
A - Gorgeous

Name meaning here:
A : Gorgeous
B : Loves people
C : Really easy to fall in love with
D : Is great in bed
E : Deeply in love with his/her gf/bf
F : People wild and crazy adore you
G : Never let people tell you what to do
H : Freakin' beautiful eyes
I : Loves to laugh
J : Makes people laugh
K : Really silly
L : Best smile
M : Makes dating fun
N : Sexy
O : Has one of the best personalities ever
P : Popular with all types of people
Q : A hypocrite
R : Good bf/gf
S : Lives life for fun
T : Great kisser
U : Gets blamed for everything
V : Not judgmental
W : Very broad minded
X : Never let people tell you what to do
Y : Loved by everyone
Z : Lives life for fun

More holidays to come but no money!

2008-03-20T06:22:00.005+08:00

Date: Wednesday, 19 March 2008
Weather: Sunny in the day; windy & chilly at night
Place: my apartment (hiding my freezing cold feet under the duvet with my notebook on my lap)

We're gonna have a long weekend here - off on Friday for Good Friday & the following Monday for Easter Monday. We're heading North to Leeds on Friday & to Edinburgh on Saturday with 2 other friends. There are still a few more trips to come in April, haven't finalised my travel plan but they're surely in the pipeline!

The weather is still a bit chilly here despite we're approaching the tail end of winter :( Much looking forward to spring and hopefully it will be warmer then so that I get to put on some of my newly bought Spring clothes & dresses, hehe....

1 more week to go and I'll be unemployed again (I discontinue my contract as I'm going back to my home country for good soon) - no job means no money, sigh... Luckily our tax refund came just in time, enough to cover our travel expenses. The sad thing is: we will be quite badly affected by the unfavourable exchange rate, given most of our travel destinations are in Europe - euro is much stronger than pound sterling!

I'm feeling blue lately, knowing that there will be a lot of uncertainty still to come before me in the next couple of months. Well, this is life I guess.

血染的钻石

2008-03-18T04:20:00.006+08:00

钻石是女人最好的朋友。那一颗颗耀眼夺目，价值连城的钻石，女人们见了都想拥有。可是很多时候却因为我们对它的迷恋，让一些本来清澈的钻石沾满了鲜血，这些来自不法管道的钻石英语称之conflict diamond。虽然不是每颗钻石都沾血，一些商人也再三强调自己卖的是从合法管道得来的钻石，但是很多时候没有一个人可以很肯定那颗是否是颗100%"干净"的钻石。血钻在经过多个买卖和转手后，根本没有多少人可以追溯它真正的来历。

大部分的不法之钻来自非洲。好一些非洲国家长年都在战乱中，而当中一些族人为了排除异己，发起了消灭异族的大屠杀。这些人为了达到自己的目的，为了扩大军队，拐带很多只有8岁到10岁的小男生，将他们洗脑，教他们开枪杀人，将这些无辜的小孩训练成他们的杀人武器。因为长期战乱需要很大的经费来买枪弹和武器，这些人就从国家丰富的钻石资源入手，挖采钻石来换取武器。

人，没有不贪婪。因为不法之钻价格便宜，所以利润相对地也比较高，很多人在非洲收纳这些不法之钻，以武器换取钻石，把枪弹供应给别人去杀人。钻石经收取了贿款的关卡人员"核证"和赋予"合法"的身份后被送到世界各个钻石买卖市场，在那里没有人会再责问钻石的来历。

也正因为钻石的来历不易被揭发，加上因为市场对钻石的需求量大，无良商人都尽可能买入价值比市价便宜很多的血钻，然后制成珠宝放到店里光明正大的售卖以牟取暴利。我们这些买钻石的人也成了间接催鼓血钻持续不断供应到市场的罪人。很多国际知名的珠宝店都经营或间接构成这些不法勾当的发生，只是没有人开口承认而已。

有人说钻石并非如大家认为的那样稀有，只是商人们施计，把得来的钻石藏在宝库中来形成市场内供不应求的现象，抬高钻石的价钱，不让市价下滑，所以钻石在人们心里永远的"形象"都是物以稀为贵的。

我们当中有不少人拥有钻石，不管大小。很可怕的，我们每个人竟都手染鲜血。但很遗憾的是，尽管我们知道这些事情的发生，又有多少人会停止购买钻石呢? 钻石的美丽，钻石的光芒，钻石的魅力之大，又有多少人可以抗拒?

回顾那些在我们眼里可怜的人们，有人因为饥饿而死，可有人却只顾自己自私的理想而滥杀无辜。在同一片土地上，一群同肤色的人们中，每个人却活在不一样的生活里。多么矛盾啊，当国家资源贫瘠，人民因贫穷和饥饿而死；当国家资源过于丰富，人民却因贪婪和自私的想将一切占为己有而互相残杀。多么丑恶的人性啊!

仔细想想，到底是钻石比较可贵，还是人命比较可贵呢?

Ancient practises in modern days

2008-03-13T18:17:00.005+08:00

Do we marry someone because we love him/her? Are all the marriages today “Love marriage”? Could there be other marriages?

Arranged marriage and forced marriage might sound ancient to most of us today, and we believe that they no longer exist in our modern society. The truth is, arranged or forced marriage is still being widely practised, even in a very modern Western country that we believe it won’t. News found on BBC suggested that thousands of these cases happened every year in the UK, involving ethic minorities particularly Asians (note Asian only refers to South Asian when it is mentioned in this country).

Arranged marriage could sometimes be acceptable as it happens only with both parties’ consent. In the older days, our grandparents (or maybe some of our parents) were brought together by their parents or elderly through arranged marriage. Forced marriage on the other hand occurs when one is “forced” to marry to someone against his/her will. You may be familiar with this: a girl/boy is betrothed to another boy/girl when they were young (or even before they were born!) by their parents or grandparents and the young boy & girl have no choice but to marry each other when they are grown up because it was a promise made by the elderly.

It is thought to be in certain nation or ethic’s tradition that forced marriage is practised to keep the family’s honour. Although this may be acceptable by some people due to their beliefs and religions, it is against human rights and it is unfair to the party who accepts the marriage unwillingly under massive pressures. Some of them might also become the next victim of an unhappy marriage, domestic violence, sex assault or more.

Here are some recent cases of forced marriage happened in the UK.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7288820.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7191150.stm

We are blessed in a sense that we do not need to go through all these ordeals and we have the freedom to choose who we love and who we want to marry. There are, however, girls and boys out there who still suffer from this. There is nothing wrong to live a modern life but at the same time continue to pursue the traditional rituals or customs, as long as force is not used.

The public house (pub)

2008-03-04T02:27:00.009+08:00

I think it is appropriate to write about English specialties to commemorate my life here in the UK despite it is just a short 1.5 years stay. I am not sure how many specialties I could come out with but I will try to write as many as possible. Today I celebrate the birth of the very first chapter of my own list of English specialties – Public House (Pub).

The public house in the UK; or more commonly called pub is an establishment which sells alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages in the UK and Ireland. Although beverages like beers are the primary offerings, most of the pubs serve foods to their patrons. During the day, most of the pubs will have the traditional pub foods such as fish and chips, kidney pudding and jacket potatoes on their menus.

Unlike the common operating concept we have in mind, a pub can either be freehold, which means it is owned by the individual running the establishment or leasehold - owned by a third party, usually a brewery, and is run by a manager.

There is no doubt that the public house is a very important aspect of UK social culture and there is no other type of establishment has had such a drastic effect on the day to day lives of the UK populace.

Pub culture in the UK is equally prevailing as our Mamak culture back home. Some people enjoy going for a pint or two at lunchtime while others prefer a wind down drinking session after work with a group of colleagues or friends. British are amongst the highest beer consuming nations in the world other than Germans although wines are also becoming increasingly popular nowadays.

*************************************

Some snapshots of my recent visit to a typical English pub:

Wooden tables and chairs in the pub

The gaming machines (slot machines)

Fish & chips
(Brits like to eat the chips with vinegar and salt)

A plastic chicken figure with our order number

Fancy a pint?

Big strawberry

2008-02-22T05:49:00.003+08:00

Have you ever seen such a big strawberry before?

Homesickness remedy

2008-02-18T21:04:00.004+08:00

Food is the best remedy for homesickness!

Regardless of whether it is a bowl of spicy Curry Mee or aromatic (but fattening) Nasi Lemak; a refreshing Cendol or a full-flavored Bubur Cha Cha; they are super mighty effective in curing one's homesickness, especially when one is away from home.

An ex-schoolmate's blog post about Chickuteh reminded me of some really nice Malaysian food. I do think that my taste buds are indeed very "international" and I can accept a good variety of food. But still, there are times I crave for Char Kuay Teow, Hokkien Mee, Satay, Asam Laksa, Curry Fish Head etc. Thank God there are some nice (but could be better) Malaysian, Singaporean & Nyonya restaurants around, and I don't have to ask my mom to cook & send the frozen food over like some do.

There is this Singaporean restaurant in the west end called Kiasu which serves quite decent Singaporean/Malaysian food. My top pick is their Hainanese Chicken Rice but I later found their Hokkien Mee not bad too. Here's a picture of it:

I was surprised that there are pieces of deep fried pork lard in it and that makes it so aromatic and so good.

(Warning: pork lard is bad for health for it is high in cholesterol and it is saturated fat. Too much cholesterol can lead to narrowing and blockage of blood vessel.)

Love is "still" in the air

2008-02-15T22:01:00.008+08:00

St Valentine's day was yesterday but today I still see people walking on the streets holding flower bouquets. Hmm, Love is in the air, still in the air!

I read an article about average spending on Valentine's day in the US. I wasn't surprised that Lovebirds are shelling out some USD$70 billions for Valentine's gifts and celebrations. Hundreds of millions of roses were sold and delivered to the dedicated lovers' hands. No wonder the article suggested that Cupid is a capitalist, just look at the money spent!

When you think of Valentine's day, you usually relate it to roses (or flowers in general), chocolates, fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant, champagnes and passionate kisses... These are not uncommon on usual days, but they seem to have become a "must" for some of us on Valentine's day. Well, I know that some people do not celebrate Valentine's, but I do think and agree that it is one of the many special occasions for people to celebrate, to have the "feel good" feeling. More importantly, it's a day to show some love and care to your special someone (especially for those who do not usually do on normal days!!!).

So what did I do last night? Again, nothing fancy, initially we thought of cooking a simple meal at home but we were too tired (and too lazy) so we decided to hop into a Spanish restaurant nearby our place. We had the standard food - some tapas, seafood paella & Sangria. Here are some shots of the food:

Tapas 1: Gamberoni in olive oil & garlic

Tapas 2: Chicken croquettes
Tapas 3: Mushrooms in garlic sauce

Main course: Seafood paella
Canldle lit dinner with a pitcher of Sangria

The restaurant, which was established 21 years ago

Complimentary rose from the restaurant :)

CNY in the office

2008-02-15T01:15:00.005+08:00

I put a small mandarin orange on my desk to create the Chinese New Year atmosphere ;)

Happy CNY to me!

Chinese New Year 2008

2008-02-06T17:49:00.000+08:00

Date: 6 February 2008, Wednesday

Time: 10:00 GMT (18:00 Malaysian time)

It's Chinese New Year's eve, I suppose everyone back home is getting ready to have their reunion dinner with their family, loved ones now. I am missing my family reunion dinner 2 years in a row, but this is not the 2nd time which I missed the dinner. I remember the very first time I did not make it for reunion dinner was dated back in 1997.

I just can't stop the feeling of depress flowing out from my mind now. It is new year's eve and I am still working hard in the office surrounding by a bunch of "ghosts" (Westerners are called "guai low" in Cantonese and "guai" means ghost). I am unhappy because there are so many outstanding jobs sitting on my "in tray" but I am more furious that I can do nothing to prevent them being stucked here because all these are pending clearance from other department/ colleagues!! *A long sigh*~~~

Anyway, it's Chinese New Year, let's not frown! Let's hope conditions will be better in the new year k!

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

霜雪纷飞的一天

2008-02-01T07:17:00.000+08:00

好一段日子没在这儿用中文写作了，就趁今天吧。

记得一年多前写过一篇关于等待伦敦下雪的post，想不到一年多后的今天又心血来潮地把相像的题目再写一遍。

今天看天气预报，看到明天预测会下小雪，心里有点期待。去年这个时候的确也下了雪，只是当时我睡得太迟而错过了。今年，由于得上班，我想应该不会再错失机会了吧。其实下雪也没什么好稀奇的，以前也见识过了，而且是很大的风雪，很厚的积雪，也是毕生难忘的。尤记当时因为风雪太大，所有飞机都取消了，我们就被迫留下，而且是多呆了2天才可以回国。但是，我想下雪的日子在我的生命里不会频密的出现，所以自然而然心中就冒起了那股期待，而那种感觉就像小孩等着在圣诞节的第二天拆礼物那样 - 兴奋，喜悦，又带点紧张。

真的好希望回国前可以在这儿看一次伦敦的雪景，就一次吧。天啊，快下雪吧。

Jordin Sparks - I who have nothing

2008-01-28T01:56:00.000+08:00

I'm not a big fan of American IDol, but when I heard Jordin did this song in American Idol Season 6, I immediately fell for her! I then started to follow the show till the finale. Awesome performance from a 17-year-old, she sang her heart out and gave the song a new life (sort of).

I particularly like the lyrics, the way it interprets love. Love isn't about fulfilling materialistic dreams but to love wholeheartedly and unconditionally... Hope you'll like this song as I do too.

Back for Good

2008-01-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

The confirmation has come in yesterday. Yes, I am finally returning home, for good. Time flies and in a blink of an eye it is now time to bid farewell to this country and return to my root.

I could feel my family’s happiness over the phone when I informed them about this, but I am emotionally snookered by this decision. On one hand I am excited about going home and getting prepared to start a new life; on the other I still hope to stay a little longer here because I think that I have not seen enough and I want more time to explore further.

Going back sometimes really worries me - can I cope with my new life? how soon will I get a new job? will it be tough to catch up with what I have missed? what are my family's expectations of me?..........

"If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for." Maybe I shouldn't worry so much and should just enjoy my stay here. Do whatever I'd always wanted to do before I leave for home. Travel more - around the country/ region. Have more good local food that I like. Shop more (expensive goods) and.....many more!

See you, my family, my friends, in 3 months and 2 weeks time!

I Cried for You - Katie Melua

2008-01-17T05:30:00.000+08:00

I stumbled upon this song when I was browsing through the internet searching for music videos.

This song is beautiful but sad; the music video is very strange but is very good.

I Cried for You

You’re beautiful so silently
It lies beneath a shade of blue
It struck me so violently
When I looked at you

But others pass, they never pause
To feel that magic in your hand
To me you’re like a wild rose
They never understand, why

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter

But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

I’ll cross the sea for a different world
With your treasure, a secret
For me to hold

In many years they may forget
This love of ours or that we met
They may not know how much you meant to me

I cried for you
And the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter

But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper

Without you now I see
How fragile the world can be
And I know you’ve gone away
But in my heart you’ll always stay

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter

But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper
That beauty need only be a whisper

Umbrella (Rihanna)

2008-01-12T05:09:00.000+08:00

This is surely 1 of the most popular English songs in year 2007. In fact, it is officially crowned as the biggest song in 2007 on the United World Chart (please see quote). It took the world by storm after its release sometime in Q2 2007. If you like dance songs, you'll surely like this one. Rhythm wise, it's pretty simple. The "ella, ella, ella, ay, ay, ay" part sounds so funny to me (some say annoying), but hey, it's very subjective, some people just love it! What can I say, haha...

Personally, I am not a big fan of Rihanna, but I do agree that she has got what it takes to be a superstar. She's got an attractive body figure, she's sexy, she dances well and she sings OK, though not perfect.

Anyway, let's enjoy the MV. Oh ya, just to warn you - there are scenes where Rihanna appeared naked (but coated in metallic paint or something) in the MV to show off her great body!

Interesting Maths

2008-01-10T19:48:00.001+08:00

A friend has forwarded the following to me. I think it is cool and so I'm sharing it here.

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

*******************************************

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER
100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these
questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Vibrant good health for a brand new year, please!

2008-01-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

My new year thus far hasn't been good, mainly due to a poor health. Yes, I am still sick. It seems that the cold bugs have never stopped biting me. It has lasted for over a month now. I started with sore throat which then developed a fever, a blocked nose and later on I came down with a very bad cough. The cough was so bad until I sometimes end up vomitting.

I have finally walked into a medical centre this morning to register with a GP. The registration was successful (as in all necessary forms filled & submitted) but I could not be treated as I am not yet a patient there until I go through a health check which is scheduled on next Monday evening. So I was asked to go to a chemist (pharmacist) near the medical centre to seek for advise. So I went. After explaining my condition to the chemist, he told me that there is nothing he could do at the moment as he suspected that I might suffer from chest infection and that I needed proper treatment by the doctor to determine the actual cause. So again I was sent away.

I felt hopeless and helpless at the same time and went home to check online the location of the nearest NHS walk-in centre (no appointment needed) that I could go to. This is my final hope.

So I ended up seeking medical advice from a walk-in centre 3 miles away from home, after a 45 mins travelling by bus, underground and a walk. After filling up a form, I was greeted by a nurse practitioner (as I mentioned earlier, it is rarer than rare that you will get to see a GP/doctor). After checking my temperature, blood pressure, oxigen level, throat etc, the nurse told me that everything was normal. She said there is nothing she could do now to help. No prescription was given, she just advised me to drink plenty of fluids and stop taking any medicine that I am currently taking (what???). Her final words for me before I left the room were:" Come back to see us again if your condition worsen in the next few days" - sigh... I am so fed up with the medical services in this country and that I think perhaps someone's health worth nothing to them and you do not need to get proper medical treatment unless you are REALLY ILL. Well, I do not know how do they define "really ill", to them, if you do not display SIGNIFICANT symptoms (and these symptoms need to be very obvious so that the practitioner would notice and confirm that they really present in your body), you will be regarded as FINE. However, what if it is too late when someone finally reaches the "really ill" stage?

Although I like staying in this country, I don't think I can survive long here; even if I can, I will have to learn to treat myself or seek advice online rather than wasting my time again in a medical centre whenever I am ill. This is sad, but it is true.

picture taken from http://www.pascalcampion.com

Christmas party (summary)

2008-01-01T04:43:00.001+08:00

(Please read my earlier post: Christmas party before you start reading this post)

Here I am again, sharing some of the snapshots I took during my office's Christmas party this year. It was a fun night after all with lotsa activities, games & free flow of drinks - champagnes, wines, beers, cocktails, soft drinks..... you name it, you get it! The party venue was a club house located in the heart of London, overseeing Leicester Square. From the top floor, you'll get fantastic views of London.

People were all dressed up for the night, they were excited and most people were seen moving around chatting with each other. Of course, there were also some who enjoyed trying their luck at the tables.

As I've mentioned earlier, everybody was given a gambling chip (exchanged for 50 playing chips) to play at the tables - there were 3 main games on the night: Roulette, Poker & Black Jack. The players with most winning chips i.e the winners will get the fabulous prizes.

(click on the image to see the enlarged version)

Greet 2008

2007-12-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

Another year has yet again come to an end. Christmas is just around the corner, in fact it will be here in less than 2 weeks time. It is time to think about the new year's resolution again. What's a new year's resolution? Perhaps changing a habit, a lifestyle, spend more time with your family, cut down on alcohol, lose weight? There are more, obviously.

Just happened to read about an article about the top 10 new year's resolutions for the average Americans from here and here, and for other groups of people as well.

As far as making a new year's resolution is concerned, we always set so many targets for the new year but eventually some (or most) goals will go unaccomplished at the end of the year. More than often, the unachieved ones will be thrown behind our minds and they are not supposed to be remembered & reminded again as time passes by.

Ironically, people are still pretty excited to make one after another new year's resolution every year although we might never pay attention to the commitments made anymore after a while.

So... sometimes we ask ourselves "What's the point of making a new year's resolution?"...... Err.....

Are you gonna make a new year's resolution anymore? Scared that you can't keep up to it? Check out for some tips.

*photo taken from http://www.flickr.com/photos/cavenli2008/198060658/

Christmas party

2007-12-04T01:50:00.001+08:00

I have just received the invitation card to Company's Christmas party this year. Christmas party is considered the most important company event of the year, especially to the ladies - it's dress up time! The theme is "Never Say Never Again" - title of 1 of the many Bond movies. The dress code is also fun - as Bond as you like. Ever since the invitation cards were distributed into everybody's hands, I started hearing people discussing about how they are planning to dress up themselves on the day. People here are very serious about dressing according to the theme, unlike back home, no one bothers much about it. Our people's mindset is still: you can set whatever theme you like & I can dress up whichever way I like :(

The coolest thing about the party is that everybody is given a gambling chip to gamble on the night! The organisers are so creative :) Oh my, this will definitely not happen back home 'coz gambling is not permitted & it's illegal too! But I personally think it is very fun :) It's more than just an occasion for people to get together but to socialise & have fun at the same time.

In some of the companies, they do not only have Christmas party, they also have Summer party and department outing day (or some named it "Management Away Day"). These are all important activities & companies usually throw millions of pounds into the activities. I once heard from someone who works for Bloomberg that the company allocated 5 million pounds for their Summer party alone, I can't imagine how grand the Christmas party is going to be.

We do not have any other major activities other than the Christmas party, but the company is kind enough to arrange for hotel accommodation for those who stay far away from the venue & taxis are also booked for all staff to ensure that everybody gets home safely after the party.

I'm really looking forward to the party, this is also going to be my first ever party experience here :)

The invitation card (front)

The invitation card (back) - note the gambling chip at the bottom right corner

The loneliest moment

2007-11-30T00:51:00.000+08:00

The loneliest moment is the moment when you are terribly sick & no one is around to be with you and take care of you. I feel extremely lonely now and I am very sick too :(

I start missing my family, missing my friends, missing all my favourite piping hot food (I always miss food when I am ill, strange uh). I also miss seeing a real doctor too (am I crazy??). In this country, it is very unlikely that you will be greeted by a doctor when you walk into a NHS clinic/hospital (just like our government hospital) , you will only get to see nurses. Unless you are willing to pay for a private consultation at the private clinics - which usually people don't because we all pay a whopping 11% or higher NI (National Insurance). The worse part is - you will not be given medicines but just a prescription list, you then need to buy you medicines from a pharmacy!

My throat hurts so badly, my whole body is burning and I am not getting a proper medical treatment I needed but just self-feeding Strepsils & Panadol pills. A lonely evening with my TV on and a table covered by "wantons" - contaminated tissue balls as a result of a running nose.

Life sucks! Germs, stay away from me!

11 months

2007-11-23T18:56:00.000+08:00

23 Nov 2007 - today marks 11 months that I have been away from home. 11 months ago, I said good bye to my family & my country to continue on a new life at a place that was totally new to me (although I have been to & had a short stay at a neighbouring country a few years ago).

Honestly, I quite enjoy living in a "constantly changing environment", well, nothing in this world remains unchanged anyway. I guess this is life. A life that's constant changing is also a life full of challenges & new things to explore. Isn't it interesting?

In this post, I'll talk about "changes". Throughout my stay in this foreign land, some things have changed (on me), while some have not.

What's CHANGED?

1. NO CAR
Although the car price here is really cheap (£20K would get you a Merc C-class), due to high insurance payment, expensive parking, expensive fuel & high congestion charge (£8 to enter the city on a working day!!), I had no choice but to travel on public transportation. The tube is fast & frequent, but there are tens and hundreds of millions commuters just like me, relying on trains, tubes & buses to get to work and most people start work at 9-9.30am, so it is like going into battle every morning to get into a bus/tube. Pity me, I always lose out to the Mat Salleh owing to my petite size :(

2. More homecooked food
I rarely cooked while I was back home because eating out is so convenient yet affordable. Back home, you could easily get your favourite nasi lemak, roti canai etc at a nearby roadside stall when you crave. On most of the weekdays, we would cook at home. Well, to some people, cooking might sound too boring to them, but I kinda like cooking & creating my own recipes :D

3. More HK Drama series
Yes, it's true. I watch more HK drama series here than back home and they are often the latest series released by TVB. Thanks to our mates, they are the key suppliers to the drama series.

4. Cheaper holidays
I must say that, travelling around the region is much cheaper here, in dollar-to-dollar comparison. Therefore I must make full use of all my holidays to travel to more places before I return home for good.

5. Higher Altitude, Lower Temperature (in certain seasons)
Having been living near Equatorial for so many years, I have never enjoyed the sunny & warm weather back home. I only started to miss the warmth feeling after spending most of my days here wrapped myself in long sleeves. Effectively, I only had 2 weeks of summer with temperature above or merely touching 24°C and all I could say is it didn't feel like it was summer to me.

6. Small pay cheque
Well, dollar-to-dollar, my monthly pay check is so much smaller than the one I got back home. I feel sad because I don't see the "progress" (in terms of money £££). But when I convert my earnings to RM, it gives me a different feeling altogether (duh!).

These are all more significant changes I have observed so far, will write about "what's NOT Changed" later, when I have the time :)

Office politics, play the game to your advantage!

2007-11-07T20:34:00.000+08:00

A very very interesting article I've found from the web about office politics. Can you play office politics to your personal advantage? Well, read on and learn from it, you might need it oneday.

This article is taken from http://content.monster.co.uk/14737_en-GB_p1.asp

Office politics are as familiar a feature of every workplace as the water cooler, but there is very little refreshing about it. So you have a choice: do you ignore it, or do you learn how to play the game and use it to your personal advantage?

Most of us have been witness to the rise of the mediocre employee who seemed to be holding a fast-pass to promotion over the hard-working, honest and seemingly smarter worker. Why does that happen?

Because promotion is about competition.

Regardless of the size of the organisation, the reality is that there simply are not enough promotions to go around which is why some people try to gain the competitive edge over their colleagues by making themselves more ‘visible’.

Everyone wants to work on the big projects that can enhance their reputation, prestige, recognition, influence and, ultimately, power. But the way that some people approach this is different.

On the one hand, there are the ‘purists’. These are the people who will work with diligence and honesty in the belief that they will be recognised and rewarded for the work that they do without resorting to ulterior tactics.

On the other hand, are the ‘players’. Whilst respecting company rules and regulations, they recognise that the ‘hidden’ rules of the office can be more influential to their ambitions and will maximise their connections and relationships to advance their positions.

So, are you a purist or a player? And is it really possible to avoid getting caught up in office politics? Here are a few things that you can do to avoid the trap of selling your soul:

• Befriend your boss - Most managers consider themselves to be experts at what they do and will often relish the opportunity to pass on their experience and advice to you. Allow them to think of you as their protégé.

• Show enthusiasm - Offer to take on the responsibility of tasks outside of your normal duties. But avoid appearing as too eager because it could backfire on you – you don’t want to be left without any time to do your own job.

• Dress to impress - Shakespeare said, ‘Apparel oft befits the man’. Dress for the job that you want, not the job you already have.

• Stand up for yourself - Despite your best intentions, someone may try and make you look bad for their own personal gain - perhaps they view you as a main rival. Deal with the person face-to-face to resolve the conflict or, if that fails, respond with strength in a humorous way at the next meeting. This will earn you respect with your peers and make the perpetrator feel foolish.

It may seem unfair to associate office politics as being bad. Is it really that bad to know how to push the buttons of the people who can determine your future career prospects?

Career success is not just about talent. If you want your career to thrive then you have to work to establish credibility, gain allies with influence, stay visible and gain an understanding of the culture.

一起来环保!

2007-11-04T03:37:00.000+08:00

前些时候，在亚洲很多地区都掀起了一股争买一款由名师设计和售卖，名叫"I'm not a Plastic Bag"的环保棉质shopper bag。在欧洲一些国家，这shopper bag虽然并没有大卖，可是环保棉质布袋却是时下热话。很多公司在市场和品牌推广活动里都舍弃了塑胶袋子，纷纷使用一些比较环保，可以循环利用的棉布袋。环保，在这些发达国家都是很受关注的话题，很多时候政府都不断向人民灌输环保意识，而公司及商家也积极响应一些环保计划，如尽量在生产过程减少二氧化碳排气(CO2 emission)，减少用电量，减少打印不必要的文件(少用纸张)等等。

我公司的市场策划部近来带来了很多环保棉质shopper bags样板，我也从中"受惠"，拿了个回家，方便我们每星期在grocery shopping时可以装装蔬菜水果。一来，我们减少使用塑胶袋；二来，布袋的肩带设计也更方便携带，可以减少用手提的重量。

我们在发展中国家出生和生活的人们对环保二字似乎没什么感觉，因为大家注重的都是国家经济发展，对别的事都漠不关心。就因为这样，我们忽略了环境保护的重要性，只顾不断开发更多的森林来盖一栋栋的高楼大厦，高速公路，工厂等等。我们眼光短浅，只看眼前的事物，忘了放眼将来。住在城市里，大家忙忙碌碌只管工作，只想不断进步，没有环顾我们的四周，渐渐地我们也变成了只对世界不断加以祸害，而没有关心环境和生态的的一群。

环境和我们的关系是唇齿相依的，如果我们舍弃它，最后它也将会永远离开我们。现在开始珍惜它，一步一步将这关系延续下去，是当下最重要的事。千万别等到有一天当我们慢慢记起它的重要性，而它已远离我们后才来想挽回和后悔，那时一切已太迟了。

永远别放弃你爱的人

2007-10-29T03:13:00.000+08:00

"永远别放弃你爱的人" 让你联想到什么? 固执? 执着? 坚持? 还是愚昧? 有人会认为如果把标题改为"永远别放弃爱你的人"会是更有意义，我不能完全认同。

爱，是双方面的。孤掌难鸣，爱情要是只有单方有感觉，这根本没有意义，也不会有结果。同样的，在一段爱情里，要是一方不断付出而另一方只管接受，这段感情也不会永久。

某位作者曾说过，通常人在感情的世界里会遇到3种不同的人。第一种: 你爱他，但他不爱你的人，；第二种: 他爱你，但你不爱他的人；第三种: 与你共度一生的人，但并非自己的一生最爱。第一种人令你痛心疾首，令你茶饭不思，他的一举一动都左右着你的情绪，让你欢喜，也让你忧愁。这样不平衡的感情最终也是注定无迹而终。第二种人，无怨无悔地为你付出，事事以你为中心，但是却让你觉得很讨厌。对他，有时你避而不见，但有时你却也会借以利用。寂寞时，你就从他的身上得到慰藉；到你找到自己的爱时，就把他抛之脑后；这种感情一样不会有结果。当你遇上了第一和第二种人之后，也就是说你在爱情中跌过，痛过，人变得成熟了，也从中学习到了人生重要的一课。后来，你遇到第三种人，一个并非你一生最爱，但是可以让你付托终生的人。也许你们没有经历过激情，但感情却是细水长流。听起来虽然不很动听，不很感人，但很多时候，跟我们共度一生的人，会是这种人。

话虽如此，如果我们能遇到一个你爱，他也爱你，而你们也可以携手同步人生路的人，这是福份，我们一定要把握和珍惜。因为一旦错过了，你就算悔恨当初也未必能再挽回。这也是我一直以来坚信的，不放弃，坚持走到最后，就算结果不如我所想的一样，我也就无悔了。

这种想法很单纯? 很盲目? 很执着? 还是很幼稚，很冒险，很愚昧? 也许是的。有人认为为了一个人放弃自己的事业，成就，前途，和自己拥有的一切是很愚蠢的。因为，你今天的成就是你用了很多时间，努力争取和奋斗所得来的，不值得为了另一个人而牺牲。也因为人心难测，一个人是会变的，你不知道你今天的牺牲会不会付诸流水。种种因素，不是每一个人都会舍弃自己拥有的，去成全和追随自己所爱的人。

对我来说，我认为成就不应只限于在社会地位和事业上，能够得到一个与你一起生活很多年很久的人，也是得来不易的成就。我不知道我的想法会否得到认同，但我认为一个人如要得到事业，只要用心工作，努力学习，不断求上进，假以时日必能如愿。感情却不一定。你遇到了一个值得你去爱，也爱护你的人，一个你愿意用一生时间去爱和生活在一起的人，如果你放弃了，以后无论你用多少努力，多少时间去争取，你也未必能再次得到这份感情。幸运的话，你也许会遇到另一个更好的，但你不一定能得到那份一样的爱。简短的说，感情的事是可遇不可求，不能以一份耕耘一份收获来一概而论。因此，如果要我选择，我一定会坚定的，执意的选择去追随自己所爱的人。

事业，工作，功绩和成就有时会是过眼烟云，是人生的点缀，没了可以重新努力找回；人与人之间的感情，无论爱情，亲情或友情，没了就未必可以找得回。所以我坚信"永远别放弃你爱的人"，因为一旦你放弃了，他将永远不再属于你。